Michael Graves
Contributing Writer
Six months ago I received a call from a close friend during which he told me he is HIV positive. I was stunned. I had never had a friend tell me she or he was HIV positive. I always assumed that HIV would never affect me, that no one in my inner circle would ever be HIV positive. It was a concept that I had never seriously contemplated.
I was scared. I was scared for him, for his boyfriend who was also infected, and for his new life as a positive man. I didn’t know how to react.
I started to look for ways that I could support my friend as he started to live his life as an HIV positive guy. I came across the “Needle Prick Project,” an initiative to encourage HIV testing and erase the stigma that comes with being HIV positive. I learned several things that I hope have helped me support my friend, but also support others who I may not know as well who live with HIV.
First, I realized that I was very proud of my friend for getting tested for HIV, something that I had not done until recently. I realized that if you are sexually active, it is your responsibility to get tested regularly to protect yourself and your sexual partners. You can do this through a blood test now (which is much less invasive than previous methods of comprehensive Sexually Transmitted Infection testing), which can test for an array of STI’s that include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis A, B and C, herpes I and II, HIV I and II, and syphilis. SMU’s health center and SPECTRUM often team up together to provide free HIV testing on campus. If you look up how expensive HIV tests can be, you’ll realize this is a great opportunity to save money and be aware of your status.
Second, I understood that being HIV positive didn’t change my friend one bit. He was still the person he was before. He was not “damaged goods,” nor was he “sick.” Just because my friend is now positive does not make him a lesser person. He and I have the same conversations we used to have before he found out he was HIV positive. We still support each other in incredible ways, and our conversations regarding his HIV status are not different than our conversations regarding my latest check-up. We talk about health, how we can maintain healthy bodies, and how our daily routines promote
our longevity.
Finally, I realized that my friend’s new positive status isn’t about me, and that I should be honored he shared his status with me. I knew that this meant he would look to me for emotional support when his viral load levels were up, and would want to rejoice with me when they were undetectable. Most importantly, I realized that my friend trusted me with this information, which warmed my heart. Indeed, we have continued to grow closer as we talk about how he is to live with HIV.
As a community of young people, I hope we can continue to erase the stigma that is associated with HIV/AIDS, and I encourage you to read about the “Needle Prick Project” so when you encounter a friend or family member with HIV/AIDS, you will know how to respond, be supportive and love them as the person you always have.
Graves is a senior majoring in communications and religious studies.
