Get a free ride, it’s better than dying
It’s 11 a.m. on a Tuesday morning and you’re heavinginto your toilet bowl in the same manner as a mother hummingbirdregurgitates food into the mouth of its young fledgling. If this isa snapshot of your Tuesday morning, then you might want to makefriends with Bill W.; however, if you follow the more traditionalcrowd of intoxicants and party on weekends, this article might justsave your life.
A program called “SMU Rides,” co-sponsored by theStudent Senate and Alpha Phi Omega, is a wonderful way to make surethat you and your friends make it home safely from a wild night ofdrinking Shasta and playing bridge at the local rec center. This ishow it works:
Step 1) Get drunk or at least legally intoxicated betweenthe hours of 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. on Thursday, Friday or Saturday.These are the hours and days of operation of the SMU Ridesservice.
Step 2) Dial or, depending on your level of intoxication,have a friend help you dial (214) SMU-RIDE. For those of you whohave trouble spelling, even while sober, that’s (214)768-7433 in crazy telephone code.
Step 3) A student volunteer will answer the telephone andwill ask you for your first name that you should try to slur asarticulately as possible. Give the volunteer your location and waitin that location until the cab arrives.
The best, and most enticing, aspect of the SMU Rides program isthat it is entirely free and you do not even need to tip thedriver. The cab driver will only pick you up at your”watering hole” and will only take you to your place ofresidence in and around SMU and the North Dallas area. SMU Rides isnot meant as a chauffer service to escort intoxicated studentswhile club hopping.
Dawn Jenkins, a coordinator of SMU Rides, stated thatapproximately 400 students per semester use the program. Shecommented, “even if this program saves one life, it is worththe effort and resources,” but Jenkins further explained thatshe would really love to see the program grow tremendously thisyear.
“We’re really trying to get the word out this yearto all students about the SMU Rides program.”
For students who may be concerned with disciplinaryrepercussions of disclosing their underage drinking to theuniversity, you may relax. The program is in no way affiliated withthe SMU Police Department and maintains full confidentiality.You’re only required to give your first name to the volunteerso that the cab driver can identify you upon arrival.
SMU Rides is funded by the Student Senate and is primarily runby volunteers who answer the phones. If you would like to help, youmay contact Jenkins at (214) 768-6541 or send an email [email protected].
Not only is volunteering a great social service, butyou’ll get to hear all the crazy drunk people who call in (ifyou really wanna mess with them, answer the phone impersonatingtheir mom). Seriously though, volunteering is a great way to gethomework done while simultaneously potentially savingsomeone’s life. It sure is more productive than masturbatingto internet porn like on your typical Friday night.
SMU Rides is essentially about making sure that after a night ofcelebration you make it home alive.
If you insist on drinking, there is absolutely no reason not touse this live-saving accommodation. If you still feel compelled todrink and drive, try and recall those videos you saw when you were15 and in driving school.
In my opinion, if you choose to drink and drive, it makes forone less idiot I have to deal with every day, but for some oddreason your parents love you.
Don’t ruin your life and the lives of others when you havesuch an easy way to avoid such a situation. Use SMU Rides as oftenas you need to — there’s no excuse not to. Itdoesn’t get much better than free and confidential.
