Let me tell you about my friends. Or what might qualify as friends. I’m not sure. Let me explain.

I am not the most outgoing person. I am actually rather introverted. Occasionally, I need some time alone in which I don’t have to deal with people. As far as meeting new people is concerned, I really don’t like it. I don’t like the act of initiating friendship and I’m not terribly good at it; most of my friendships are ones I stumbled into or was forced into. Of course, the phrase “forced into” carries with it a negative connotation, and that certainly isn’t the case, but it’s still apt. Some of my best friends are people I would never have ordinarily talked to if I hadn’t been forced to talk to them for some reason.

And that’s all well and good, but there’s a problem that might not be a problem: a lot of other people I’ve become friends with are too much like me.

Think about it. I don’t really like people in general. I like individual persons, but I have to meet them first. Otherwise, I am a tad apathetic.

But once I meet someone who seems “cool” (vaguely defined in this case), we become friends. But what if the other person doesn’t like people either? Someone I care about may not necessarily care at all.

And in fact, one of my best friends is just like me and has verbally asserted that she generally doesn’t like people (which I, at times, question the veracity of, since I don’t think I’ve ever seen her walk into the cafeteria alone, which is something that people who don’t like people are wont to do). When she and I associate, we go through all the motions of friendship: we play, we joke, we laugh, we do the things friends do–except talk about our feelings, because neither of us care to ask. But when we are apart, I get the distinct feeling that she gives no more thought to my presence than if we had never met.

Some may find that disheartening, or not regard her as a friend, but not I. Quite the contrary: I stated above that she is one of my best friends. Why would I do that? Because I recognize that she is just like me, and it would be rather hypocritical to judge someone for being like me. But more importantly, I realized that I have someone that I can go to for purposes of social interaction but never have to worry about beyond that.

We’ll meet by chance in the dorm, or in the cafeteria, or what-have-you, and if we’re not in a hurry, we’ll sit awhile and hang out, enjoy our time together, and then go our separate ways. And until we meet again, I can let her leave my mind completely and focus on the task at hand until I’m ready for a friend again. You can see us sometimes, a small group of us completely apathetic to each other’s existence and only sitting together to ensure we can avoid sitting with anyone else.

And of course not all my friends are that way, nor would I want them to be. I do have a small handful of people that I care about and value the friendship of and would be genuinely sad if I fell out of contact with. But I don’t think I could handle too many of those, and so I’m happy with the system I have now. I have “acquaintances with benefits,” and that works for me.

Trey Treviño is a sophomore CTV major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].