“Fashion faux-pas” aren’t so bad

I deem myself a somewhat put-together girl, I would even go as far as to call myself stylish – but Jordan, we need to step back and re-examine your “Fashion Flash” — if you could call “Shower!” a fashion do. Let’s unbutton the top button of your polo and check out your cute, little top ten list of faux-pas and solutions. Before we start, I want to bring to your attention that you aren’t the only one in the class – and I’d like to see how great you look at 8 a.m. (Just wait, you’ll have to take an 8 a.m. soon enough.)

10. If you haven’t noticed yet, we’re in college. The name of the game is to push the limits of your body attempting to be social and still make grades. Haven’t gotten there yet? I’ll send you a tube of Preparation H the week of your first exam.

9. If a naked earlobe is so unattractive to you, get yours pierced and carry around a hand mirror. If naked earlobes mean another two minutes of sleep, I’ll take it.

8. How does it change your class experience if the girl next to you didn’t have breakfast? Are you the Dannon Fusion man? If so, can I trade in my bran muffin?

7. I have encountered those that, as you say, had something die in their mouths, but that just gives you an easy conversation starter. “Tic Tac?”

6. What is the difference between a girl with a zit and a guy? Oh, right, nothing. Just because we have make-up to apply doesn’t mean we have the time – or care.

5. Red Bull makes me jumpy and carrying a cute travel coffee cup puts a bounce in my step.

4. Showering is a given, but don’t forget it just broke 90 in Dallas.

3. If you say that bed-head is so last year, what do you call your do?

2. The X’s mean that they aren’t breaking the law and drinking underage – it should be appealing to know that she’s a stand-up girl. Also, Sharpie doesn’t come off with simple soap and water.

1. If you think that the way you dress raises your grade, wake up. Grades are about hard work — most of the professors can’t even put a face to a name.

Ok, honey, when you show up to your third week of class — yes, that’s all the college experience you have — tired from studying or, dare I say, hungover, I’m sure you’ll resort to the faux pas of the “stinky girl.” Good luck – that Preparation H is on its way.

Susie Oszustowicz is a junior CCPA and marketing major. She can be reached at [email protected].