When we were all attending elementary school, we were probably cornered at some point or another and asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Of course, most of us answered with normal occupations: doctors, lawyers, firemen or anything else that was glorified in picture books and Saturday-morning cartoons. I was a little bit different, being that I decided from age three that I wanted to be the next Pat Sajak. My childhood friend was even stranger: he wanted to be a horse.
However, both of these seem logical in comparison to having this sort of reply: “Miss Teacher Lady, I want to be a reality TV star!” Of course, reality shows weren’t really around for our childhood, but would you ever think of saying that? For those of you who actually answer that question with a “yes,” there is a school out there advertising that they can make your dreams come true. Unfortunately, as is always the case with just about any unaccredited talent agency, you’re pretty much just throwing your money into a vacuum.
The New York Reality TV School is claiming that with a payment of $129 for a one-time session, they can give anyone a chance at their 15 minutes of fame. The school also offers five-week workshops so you can go through the whole process of practicing, acting out parts and listening to someone tell you to pretend to be someone you’re not. Supposedly the school has a proven track record, since graduates have appeared on “Groomer Has it,” “I Love New York” and a guest role on “Law and Order” (not actually a reality show, but close enough).
Of course, there is one glaring problem with a “school” like this. Going to class for being a reality star is different than entering law school-there’s nothing you’re going to learn! The main things needed to be on TV are energy and a good story. Paying money isn’t going to make these things magically appear. The people who make it on these shows are the ones who know how to be personal and vivacious in interviews. Everyone has something distinguishable about themselves, and knowing how to showcase that to a scout is more important than any sort of education-based training.
Another funny part of the school’s program: the head of the workshops, Robert Russell (who declined comment for my little rant here), has never actually appeared on a reality show. So in other words, people are paying to learn how to audition for a show from a guy who has next to no television experience.
Now, I’ll let it be known that I’m not trying to criticize people who want to be on TV-that would be rather hypocritical of me. It’s just ridiculous that some might think a class is going to suddenly make them a prime candidate to be a top model or a villain or someone who humiliates themselves weekly in front of millions. Most shows typically know the kinds of people they want to cast long before they start meeting candidates. In fact, the majority of casting these days is done via recruitment. Did you know that over half of the cast of this season’s “Survivor” was recruited by casting agents? The same is true for my season of “Beauty and the Geek” and many other shows.
Therefore, the best way for anyone to try to get on TV is simply to be natural and wait for the right opportunity to come along. It’s not something any of us should try to make a career of, especially since a few months after your face disappears from the small screen life quickly returns to normal. Focus instead on that childhood dream-it’s something you’ll be far more grateful to achieve down the road.
As for me, I’ll always be thrilled that I had the opportunity to represent both myself and SMU for ten weeks on the CW. I’m just waiting for my chance at something greater-maybe it’s an accomplishment in poetry, or maybe it’s a chance to let a contestant spin the big wheel.
Matt Carter is a senior creative writing, Asian studies and journalism triple major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
