“If you have sex, wear protection, and don’t take drugs.”

Ozzy Osbourne gives advice to his two children, Jack and Kelly, before they leave for a wild night out in Los Angeles.

These are typical rules for any family, but the Osbournes are anything but typical.

The daily crises and humor that take place inside the rock ‘n roll family’s home is keeping viewers addicted to the MTV reality show.

The show beats any “Survivor” episode. In fact, it’s more entertaining than “Friends.”

It’s like a comedy-soap opera, but it’s the real deal.

“The bottom line is we are guests in America; we’re not American citizens,” Ozzy said in an interview with MTV.

“If my kids get busted with drugs, we’ll be out of here faster than we can pack a bag.”

Many have heard of Ozzy. Some people picture him as a gothic, middle-aged madman who bites the heads off bats.

On the reality show, MTV proves he’s not so scary. He’s actually a caring and often responsible father when he’s not breaking the neighbors’ window in an attempt to get them to turn down their music.

His wife and manager, Sharon, is the “man” of the house. She not only runs the show at home, but also runs Ozzy’s music career.

Sharon is a caring person and good mother. She wants the best for her kids and shows her disappointment in Kelly getting a tattoo.

She’s also the type of mom the kids love to be around. This could be due in part because her children, 16 and 17, enjoy a 2 a.m. curfew.

Sharon adds a lot of drama to the family. She’s generally easy-going but stops at nothing to make her family happy.

Even if she has to throw rotten ham and fruit at the neighbors because they’re singing “Kumbaya” and making fun of Ozzy.

Though many are fooled by her fluorescent pink hair, Kelly is probably the most normal person in the family. She stays out of trouble for the most part.

“I always think about consequences, and I never do things that I’ll regret later,” she told MTV.

Staying out of trouble is not as easy for Jack, her brother. He’s the type who likes to separate himself from the crowd.

Though the Osbournes are a bit different than the average family, they love each other and work as a team.

Every episode holds new humorous dramatics. It’s hard to believe that so much chaos surrounds one family on a daily basis.

But it’s the drama that makes the family so entertaining.