As a movie buff, the Academy Awards has been a landmark event of my life for a good while now. My first ceremony was back in 2000, when “Gladiator” won and I pretended to be General Maximus for the better part of two weeks (yes, this includes the part where he triumphs in battle over Joaquin Phoenix). Since that point I can remember all of the good winners (“Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” “A Beautiful Mind,” “No Country for Old Men”), some of the okay ones (“Million Dollar Baby”) and some of the “I want to throw something at the movie screen” variety (“Crash,” I’m looking at you!)

However, this is the first year that I find myself looking at the Oscar lineup with nothing but the pure and utter emotion of “meh.” I don’t care. Maybe I should blame it on the economy, that after hearing about so many people losing their jobs I don’t want to sit around and watch a bunch of celebrities wear fancy outfits and patronize half of America.

In fact, I wish I could blame it on the economy! The problem is that the economy really hasn’t halted my desire for celebrity at all; I still read bad entertainment news and occasionally, when I really need encouragement, remind myself that I was on a low-rated reality show. The issue is that I just don’t care about the top nominees:

• “Slumdog Millionaire:” Probably the best one of the bunch, but I’m biased as a former contestant on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” Referencing this film=instant ego stroke.

• “The Curious Cast of Benjamin Boring:” okay, this isn’t the real title, but I don’t want to give you the real one in case it somehow causes a desire for anyone to run to the theater cash in hand. This is easily one of the most emotionally hollow/overrated films of the past decade. Pick any other David Fincher movie (yes, that includes “Alien 3”) and I’m betting it’s better.

• “Frost/Nixon:” first of all, have more than 100 people actually seen this movie? I already pay for the History Channel at home.

• “Milk:” actually a biopic that is slightly better than one from The History Channel. Sean Penn can act; unfortunately, the way he continues to parade around pretentiously in public, not to mention the Oscar he stole from Bill Murray in 2003, will probably always keep me from loving his work.

• “The Reader:” otherwise known as “The Reason Batman Didn’t Get Nominated.” I’m not going to turn this into a geek-fanboy rant about Christopher Nolan getting the shaft, but “The Dark Knight” as a nominee would easily bring in more ratings.

In addition to this all-star lineup of films, the ceremony really doesn’t have any buzz at all. Hugh Jackman, the host, isn’t funny. What happened to Chris Rock, Steve Martin, or even (gasp!) Billy Crystal? The fact that Wolverine is hosting this gig makes me think we’re in for a night of self-congratulation.

Then there’s also the lineup of presenters: on slate there is…well, nobody. The Academy isn’t announcing who is going to present in hopes that this might draw more attention. What they don’t realize is that I know their game; the “secret guests” are Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, and probably the ghost of Jimmy Stewart. With the exception of the last one, this is the same group we see every year talking about “the magic of movies.”

Here’s an idea, Academy: why don’t you try making the Oscars magical again? Nominate some bigger films, hire a big-name comedian, and promote the heck out of the ceremony itself. Ratings are down for a reason-people would rather watch reruns of “Two and a Half Men” on TiVo than see whatever surprise you have up your sleeve.

No more secrecy, Oscar. Your audience is eager, but they’re fading fast.

Matt Carter is a senior creative writing, journalism, and Asian studies triple major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].