Gender is something that has always fascinated me. I am a strong believer in the independent spirit and the right to choose who we are. However, growing up we have little control of the environment or expectations our parents and society have over us. Society dictates what is “normal” and everyone follows suit. When pregnant women have their baby showers, the themes are color, or I should say gender, coded as blue for male and pink for female. Is this just another stereotype we have of people like all the others – black, white, gay, straight, blonde, Jewish, etc? Does the fact that my favorite Power Ranger is Kimberly, the pink ranger, make me gay? Well, maybe…

Ever since an early age I thought it was funny that my dad would bring me home soccer balls and G.I. Joes and my sisters would receive dolls and kitchen sets. It just didn’t seem right for my parents to assume I liked those things. So, what did I do? Being a rebel from a young age, I picked up dolls and began to play with those, too. I didn’t abandon my soccer balls or race cars, but I didn’t neglect my Little Mermaid doll either. I have no shame, nor should I.

My granddad took me fishing on occasion to get me used to the “great outdoors,” but I was never too thrilled when it was time to head out to the lake. I was put in sports at an early age and played soccer, baseball, football and some basketball, among others. Despite all the sporting events and sweat and mud, it never really became my thing. I became a local soccer celebrity in my hometown, though. No, it wasn’t for being a spectacular MVP. I was always the goalie and to pass the time while the ball was on the other side of the field I would do what my father so proudly refers to as “the goalie dance.” I usually stole about half of the stadium’s attention during most of the games – my earliest claim to fame. Most of my greatest dance moves were created on that very field at around seven years of age.

So, what explained my behavior? Well, scientists call it CGN or Childhood Gender Nonconformity; basically, when a child displays behavior that is typically of the opposite sex. (Take note: Gender is culturally constructed and sex refers to biology and reproduction.) CGN has been found to be in children as young as 18 months of age. There are also a number of cases involving twin studies where one twin expressed CGN and the other did not.

So, why is this important? Well, CGN has been used to predict homosexuality. The data shows that children with extreme CGN tend to grow up to be gay. Twin studies have proven that homosexuality is not a result of nurture alone. This erodes the notion that gay men have an unhealthily close relationship with their mothers and have absent or distant fathers. Scientists are increasingly convinced that CGN and homosexuality are caused by a combination of hormone and genes, especially hormone exposure before birth.

These findings increasingly confirm the notion that being gay is not a choice, but rather another biological aspect of your identity. According to Advocate.com, a popular gay-oriented magazine, a poll showed that the majority of gay people felt that their situations in society would be better if straight people understood that they were born that way. A similar poll showed that straight people were more accepting when they believed homosexuality was not a choice.

However interesting or intriguing the origins of homosexuality may be, it is the tolerance and acceptance of homosexuals that should concern us most. We may think that calling a child a “sissy boy” or “faggot” is harmless, but playground ridiculing and taunting can drastically go too far. Ten years ago, Matthew Shepard was brutally murdered because of his sexual orientation. On Feb. 14, 2008, Lawrence King, a 15-year-old California student, was shot to death by a 14-year-old classmate who regularly harassed and bullied King because he occasionally wore makeup and jewelry. In King’s situation, expressing CGN got him killed. In another Advocate.com poll, an overwhelming 63.7 percent of voters answered yes when asked, “Should LGBT teens exercise caution when expressing their identity?”

It is deeply saddening and unfortunate that being yourself can get you killed. I could have very easily been that victim.

Stop the cycle of hate and violence. I encourage all of you to say something when you hear people young and old being discriminated against for who they are. Be a voice against violence.

Brent Lemons is a junior international relations and political science major. He can be reached for comment at blemons@smu.