Maybe it’s time women try on a man’s pants for size

Time and time again we’re complaining. If it’s not our jobs, schoolwork, family, other annoying people (like the ones who bump into you and don’t say “excuse me”) or something as minute as our favorite pants getting stained, it’s always something. When we were young, our parents told us to stop being a whiner. And now, we’re the ones telling children to quit whining. But, in relationship terms, why do women seem to be doing all of the whining and getting a bad reputation for it?

Maybe the cynical cycle begins in middle school. You like Bobby, but he’s not returning your affection. So, you turn to your friends Elizabeth, Kate, and Ashley and begin to say things like, “I don’t know why he doesn’t like me. He’s such a loser anyway. He never calls me.”

This mentality progresses on into high school with the same type of situations but with a side of fragmented maturity.

Then we push into adult life, where the hits just keep on coming. Maybe they’re the same complaints as before, but now there seems to be more of them. “He never helps me around the house. I do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. He’s always with his buddies. He doesn’t pay attention to me. He is so selfish. He’s such a pig. I hate the way he gives me that wretched look. He never understands.” And so on.

What are we complaining for? It seems as though sometimes we’re the ones making relationships and dating a bit complicated. For example, we’re the queens of “What ifs.” What if he doesn’t think I’m sexy in this scandalously little black dress that shows too much of my breasts? What if we get married and live happily ever after? What if he is a total disaster? What if he is one of those guys who is secretly gay and doesn’t know it yet? What if he eats with his mouth open (sidenote: yuckers)?

It’s always something.

The wheels in our minds seem to constantly turn. When we do take a minute to let the little mouse on his running wheel take a break, we’re at a loss of what to do or say.

Put yourself in men’s shoes. It’s difficult, isn’t it? When I hear them complain about their girlfriends or potential ones, the complaints tend to be no where near as complex. They pertain to sex, badgering phone calls and free time with their friends. Why is it so simple for them?

Maybe the trick is to start being more like a man. Sit and relax. Eat, drink some beers, have sex without thinking about your errands and call it a day. As my father says, “Men, they’re such simple creatures.”

They seem to know what they want and how to ask for it in a straightforward manner. There are no games, no foul plays, and no hurdles or barriers. It is what it is – clean and simple.

Why is it terribly challenging for us to relish in simplicity?

It’s almost as bad as having OCD. You just can’t resist the urge to do otherwise.

My friend shared an interesting perspective with me that she learned in a psychology class. She said the way women and men are directly relates to the placement of their sexual organs. Women have internal sex organs, which could be the reason why we’re so emotionally complex and maybe why we’re more indoors people, like housewives. It seems as though everything is harbored inside of us. Men have external sex organs, which could explain why men tend to work outdoors (outside the house) more and not let the small stuff get to them.

She also made another good point. We (society) are conditioning men to be the way they are. Think about every time your boyfriend or husband wanted to help you out in the kitchen, and it became somewhat of a pain to teach him how to cut carrots. So you said, “Get out of my kitchen.”

While I don’t agree with these theories, I think it is interesting to consider. I believe women are more intricate than men, but I think it has a lot to do with society’s perpetuation of this idea for many decades.

It is a comfortable norm for some, and it won’t disappear as fast as a pimple. Culture takes many decades to change. Look at the Civil Rights movement and how far we’ve come, but note how much further we have to go, too.

I’m not saying women should pacify themselves and quit venting to their friends. I’m saying you should pick and choose your battles. Instead of focusing in on all of his flaws, pick the ones that affect the big picture.

Stray from telling your friends everything. Some things are private issues and meant to be kept between the two of you. Think about how it would feel if the situation was swapped. We have to start somewhere if we want to amend our reputations.

Our reputation as whiners may never go away, but maybe that’s just who we are – complex beings with good intentions.