Stacy on first dates, smooth talkers and style
Q: Dear Stacy,
What do you suggest for a first date? – John
A: Dear John,
First dates tend to have tricks up their sleeves, but if you plan it logically, then the date can turn out to be wonderfully surprising.
The traditional date includes dinner and a movie. However, I suggest you try something a bit more authentic and fresh. Dinner accompanied by a movie has quite a few downsides.
If you know the date isn’t going well, thanks to the awkward conversation during dinner over your favorite kind of breakfast cereals and the addition of her fifth cocktail, there’s no backing out.
Once a show time is picked, you have to stick to it or face the consequences of appearing rude and careless. A movie is also a passive construction for a date. There is no interaction required, thus no room to get to know one another.
As obvious as it may seem, girls appreciate thought and creativity. Take her to dinner followed by ice skating. It’s a guaranteed way for physical contact and to shed a couple layers of your shy blushing self. She feels herself falling backward, and, like magic, you are there to catch her. It’s all very B-list chick-flick themed, but some girls hope for that kind of romance.
I had a friend who was taken on a wine tasting for a first date. Now, that guy gets a high five and Quagmire “Alright” from me. It was original.
I suggest something fun, like mini golf, bowling or dancing. This way you both can look like fools, be comfortable doing so and share a hardy laugh.
Either way, don’t disregard the execution. Be attentive and mind your manners. For some reason, first impressions carry the heavy weight of judgment with them and leave a mark.
Q: Dear Stacy,
How do you tell the difference between the guys who actually want to date you and the ones just trying to get in your pants? – Jane
A: Dear Jane,
Almost every woman has had difficulty with this before. It’s incredibly challenging at times, especially when the guy seems so innocently sweet in the beginning.
Trust your gut. At some point in time, there will be an indication as to whether he tips the scale towards “creepy, and let me take the safety off my mace” or “charming, and check your teeth for lettuce or pepper.”
I dated this guy once who seemed so sweet and intelligent at first during dinner. When he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place for coffee or wine, I said no thank you. His response was, (and yes, get ready to gag), “I just want to play with you a little.”
I could feel my face cringing with disgust and wanted to forget the whole evening. How disgusting and inappropriate!! He instantly got cut.
It’s not fair sometimes when you seem so close to something with promise and potential only to realize that the person led you on and, well, sucks. Stay positive and trust your intuition. Don’t let yourself be had by some idiot smooth talker.
Q: Dear Stacy,
How much does style and fashion play a role in attracting women?
– D
A: Dear D,
I instantly thought of the part in “Clueless” when Cher expresses her disgust for the men who look like they rolled of out bed.
Because physical attraction exists and draws us to each other initially, style does play a mediocre role in attracting women. Reverse your question. Would you be interested in a woman with baggy sweat pants, an oversized T-shirt and a baseball cap? It goes both ways.
Most women want cleanliness and to get a sense that you like yourself enough to dress yourself accordingly. I’m not saying you don’t care about yourself if you come to class in sweats, but you stand out when you dress decently. You’re making a statement to women that you take pride in yourself enough to make the effort to shower and choose appealing clothing.
Have you ever heard a woman say, “I wish he were gay? At least then he would have a sense of style and know how to dress?” Typically, we drool over gay men for that very reason. Most gay men have impeccable style and leave us wishing others would follow their examples.
Our eyes skip over frumpy appearances and go straight to chicly dressed men because there seem to be so few of them.
