America has always had a strange obsession with zombies. Movies have been made about them, books have been written on them, and video games star them; heck, there is even a zombie survival guide that depicts how to survive in case of an all-out zombie outbreak. (It’s actually an interesting read and is strangely realistic.)

“Zombieland” comes out on Oct. 2, and I admit, I’m pretty psyched to go see it. After all, there is just something about a small band of humans attempting to preserve the human race while evading mindless, hungry zombies that plucks at the heartstrings. Personally, the movie is made even better because it is a comedy instead of a horror movie. There are plenty of horror zombie movies; there aren’t very many good comedy zombie movies.

But the setting and environment of “Zombieland” had me thinking: how well equipped is SMU to handle a zombie outbreak? SMU has their emergency alert system in place to warn students about a number of emergencies that can occur on campus. Everyone remembers the dozen texts messages, e-mails, and calls that we each received about a gas leak over the summer. So, if zombies actually do attack, everyone will know about it.

SMU – 1, Zombies – 0

SMU has a small campus, and therefore has a relatively small police force. Dallas police aren’t far away, but they’ll probably be busy dealing with the zombie outbreak elsewhere, leaving SMU police on their own. The police force has increased substantially since last year, but they are still too few to be effective against a mass outbreak. Plus, anyone who has played Left 4 Dead knows that the average zombie can easily outpace a Segway.

SMU – 1, Zombies – 1

SMU possesses some of the top minds and leaders in society … and they’ll be absolutely no use against zombies. Fortunately, SMU is a school and a majority of its students are sensible and well educated, as well as knowledgeable about zombies from playing video games and watching movies. The many fraternities and sororities, as well as the other large social organizations on campus, have strong ties between their members, which results in leadership and good communication, both of which are essential to fighting zombies. If zombies were ever to attack, the SMU student body would prevail.

SMU – 2, Zombies – 1

After much research and analysis, I have concluded that a future, such as the one in “Zombieland”, could never exist, mainly because we would not allow it. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that zombies will always hold a place in mainstream media and that “Zombieland” will be an awesome movie to go see.