Ask Nell in Spain
Q: Dear Nell,
Are all of the girls at SMU virginally challenged? Before I offend anyone, let me explain. I recognize the fact that there are “wholesome” girls that attend SMU, but every time I meet one, we just aren’t compatible. All of the girls I meet that I can actually hang out with and have fun with turn out to know a lot of guys here at school on an “intimate level.” The last girl I fell for could have held her own with the whore of Babylon. I’m not saying I want a virgin, but a lowered number of past encounters would be nice and a personality is a must. What’s a guy to do?
– Would like to stay STD-free
A: Dear STD-Free,
No, not all of the girls at SMU are virginally challenged. Normally I would say that a girl’s past shouldn’t matter. Some of my closest friends tell me they have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. I consulted my panel of SMU-in-Spain sexperts about your problem, however, and they agree unanimously that if you are dealing with a Jenna Jameson-style promiscuity you have a right to be concerned.
Sure a past is a past, but if you keep running into her past then you will always be distressed. This is not a problem often complained about by guys (I hear it a lot more often from women). I will try and give you (and anyone else with this problem) a few pointers.
No. 1, if she tries to dress like Christina Aguilera and flirts with all of your friends, forget about it. If you do not want to get into another bind, eliminate anyone who may already be causing trouble.
No. 2, really notice how she reacts to and around you. Girls who are out to just flirt will not keep their attention on one particular guy (unless they want drinks, a “ride” home or have a running chance at playing trophy wife) and will not seem genuinely interested in who you are.
Lastly, keep your mind open to new options. The perfect girl for you may not exactly be what you had in mind, but hey your Type B girl may turn out to be your Type A after all. Also, if you do meet that perfect girl, don’t completely disregard her because of her past. People have rough times, a few crazy years and you may not want to give up on a great girl just because of her past. There are plenty of single and good girls out there wandering around Dallas looking for Prince Charming . . .
Q: Dear Nell,
I know your column deals with sex, love and relationships, but I have a question: If college tuition is a quarter of the price in Madrid as it is in Dallas, where the hell is all of my SMU-in-Spain tuition money going?
– No Tengo Dinero
A: Dear Dinero,
Some possible ideas I have been told are new BMWs in the administrator’s parking lots, more speed bumps and I hear they paid $1.5 million for that new Spanish art sculpture at school. I think it was erected in honor of the broke abroad students, so make sure and enjoy it when you get home. But that’s only a few opinions…
Q: Dear Nell,
A guy friend of mine just started spending a lot of time with my ex. She and I are on okay terms, but I think they spend a little too much time together, and I’ve just stopped hanging out with him lately. Is it too late to be jealous?
– Confused
A: Dear Confused,
It is never too late to be jealous and everyone knows that exes of less than two years are strictly off limits. Girls and guys alike should know that even if you are not with somebody, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have feelings for them or haven’t gotten over them.
Since your ex is pretty much out of the picture, be concerned about your friendship. Be brutally honest and tell your friend that if something is going on, you’d rather be the first to know. Tell him it’s definitely not cool and ask him how he would feel if you started hooking up with one of his exes.
I’ve seen close friends become distant acquaintances because of this issue, so stress the importance of it to your friend, and I hope he realizes that your friendship is on the line.
