It’s a time for joy, a time for tears, a time we’ll treasure through the years. . . merchandising day?
Seniors, you may not be receiving the volume of job offers from big-name companies that you’d like, but SMU wants you to know that it still cares about you. Namely by sending your parents letters begging them to buy you an “officially licensed” golden knickknack to commemorate your college experience.
Take, for example, the “officially licensed” DiplomaDisplay ™. According to the Residence Hall Association letter for the DiplomaDisplay ™, “There is no one prouder in the world than you, and there is no more meaningful way to demonstrate your pride than by presenting your graduate with a DiplomaDisplay ™.” Yes, the hand-embossed, gold-leafed, $109.99 display is so much better than those shoddy imitation dealies. But shouldn’t we be somewhat concerned that the Premier Style DiplomaDisplay ™ pictured in the brochure is actually fitted with a picture of a German Castle, instead of Dallas Hall?
If it’s Dallas Hall you really want, just take a gander at the display case to the right of the entrance to the SMU bookstore. The shelves are stocked with jewelry and golden trinkets, “officially licensed” to SMU and associated with the university only by virtue of being embossed with the Dallas Hall logo ™. In fact, it resembles nothing so much as a James Avery™ shop that has been vandalized by the Dallas Hall logo ™. But if you’ve ever wanted to put a miniature antique clock on your mantelpiece (for a little more than $100), you now know where to go.
Speaking of the SMU bookstore, keep an eye out for the letter informing you of your responsibility to purchase your graduation invitations, cap and gown from the bookstore.
In fact, according to the registrar, “Regalia for the ceremonies should be rented through the SMU Bookstore, the authorized supplier of regalia for the SMU community.”
And don’t forget that your graduation is simply opening a door to a lifetime membership with the SMU Alumni Association. And once you pay the small membership fee, you’ll be inundated with offers for even more SMU merchadise – the official Peruna Tie ™ ($65), the SMU License Plate Frame ™ and the SMU Visa card ™.
There’s no unwritten rule that says you have to buy any of the “officially licensed” merchandise that SMU throws at you. Of course, there’s also no rule stating that we should have to tolerate receiving brochures from merchandising companies in Maryland either, along with every other bill and student account statement this university mails out.
