What follows is stream-of-consciousness in my mind about boldness in Christ. I hope it will impact you even more than it has impacted me.
My heart freaking screams out in agony. I have been confined by my own inhibitions for far too long. I will not allow myself to feel castrated any longer… I will not, I will not, I will not. And yet I will undoubtedly feel fears of doubt about myself this entire week, but I will overcome them. I hate my unnatural obsession with playing it safe. It’s not cool. The devil can go to hell. In fact, I wish he was there now. If so, he would stop bothering me with these unnatural obsessions that he places in my mind, telling me that these are my natural thoughts. Well, they’re not. Not. Not. Not. I am a believer and a follower of Christ Jesus, the Messiah. I am no longer a sinner, but instead a saint who sins. Christ has made me new in Him and my new nature does not conform to the wants and needs of this world. It is only when I convince myself, wrongly, that I am worthless and fearful and incapable that I allow the devil to win. Screw the devil. I wish his demise and his urgent death so that he can stop bothering me, and all of my helpless friends. We were created for something so much greater, and it’s a shame every time we allow him to make us believe we are insignificant. We aren’t. We matter. And we’re telling God to buzz off whenever we deny His purpose in our lives. Does that sound like the right thing to do? No, it doesn’t. In fact, that’s horrible. We should be on the front lines for God showing Him all the glory we can, and showing others all His glory. The effect could be phenomenal. Now is the time to stop being weaklings and step up and be real men and women after God. Stop chasing after other people for your own sake! God first, then chase after those people in God’s name. Get your priorities in line, Reed! You are letting that damn devil win this game, and you could easily defeat him by just depending on God. He is a one, the only, the Sustainer, the Redeemer, the Way, the Truth, the Life, and everything else holy. Its time to step out on a limb for God, no matter how shaky or flimsy it may seem. God will provide. You know He will, Reed, so stop acting as if you don’t believe it. Get over yourself. Quit letting the devil put this babyishness into you. It’s game time! The eyes of God are upon you, and you can soar to unknown heights by denying yourself and following God. He calls you to His service. Do it! Don’t be held back by your own insignificant concerns. Go to Sherman the day before a really big test to watch your friend play a regular season baseball game. Realize those times you have let others think wrongly about your God because you were in love with them. Realize that you did that just days ago with your current love interest. Drive to Waco and spend hours toiling around the city for no apparent reason other than to wait for your love to talk to you, if necessary. You need to be bold in proclaiming what you were afraid to proclaim only a week before to her. You may lose her affection, but you are going after Christ – not her – anyways. If Christ wants you to be with her, he will open her heart to you. Use this as a lesson for talking to all people, even those whose affection you do not desire so much. Be spontaneous in love for other people. Give freely of yourself to others. Think of them as more than yourself, and act on your dreams. Never depend on sleep as your sole source of dreaming. A life not lived out loud is no life at all. Be different. By speaking different words but struggling with the same issues and giving in to the same things as your friends who don’t know Christ, you appear as if having God has left you in a worse shape than ever before. No one will buy what you’re selling if you say “Do as I say not as I do.” This is foolishness. No one will take you seriously if you continue to live like this. How ironic that you are trying to please everyone – and thus get everyone’s attention – while actually standing up for what is Truth and not being a people pleaser is what will make everyone take notice and wonder what it is you have. Be glad for your blessings. Hold your head high like a man who truly has been given the greatest gift of all – eternal life – because you have been given that gift! Know your place, and your role, and have no regrets. Remember that every failure and pain can be used to make you into something better. If we are created to become like Christ, how can we become like Christ without suffering any of the pain that Christ suffered? To think that the Spirit will transform you without using pain and suffering at least some of the time to do so is foolishness. Don’t settle for happiness. Desire more. Desire to be in better communication with your accountability group. Desire more time in God’s word. Desire Him. Desire to bring others into the same peace and joy you have inside of you. Do not let anger, lust, and self-pity consume you. Have pride in your God. Remember that He created you and everyone around you. Laugh at people who heap scorn and criticism on a God they have never known. Tell it like it is. Be liberated by release from the flesh. Feel brand new. You are. Grieve over lost loved ones, but rejoice in their place in Heaven. Don’t stop until everyone you know is fully and completely devoted to Christ.
More to come next week…
Reed Hanson is a junior electrical engineering major. He can be contacted at [email protected].