Listen up, kids. Greek life is cool. And this just in, so is non-Greek life! I’ve been a Gamma Delta Iota, aka GDI, aka G*d Damn Independent (learn the lingo if you’re going to be a part of this brotherhood, son), since birth, and it’s been a riot. I’ve had more fun, in college especially, than most people I know, without the help of a few hundred non-biological sistas. I’m not here to harp on sororities and fraternities, because we all know how well that goes over among student readers. I believe that Greek organizations are good, that there’s a place for them and that there are people who should be in them. But not all people are those people.

If you’re bummed because you didn’t get into the sorority or fraternity of your choice, especially if you’re a first year who’s been told that Greeks are the only ones who have any real fun, here’s a list of GDI life pros and con. Con. Singular.

Con:

You wanted to be a part of something and it didn’t work out, and now you’re reasonably disappointed. Eat some ice cream and listen to a little too much Simple Plan and you’ll be cured of your sadness in one week, tops. If you’re not, find me and I’ll initiate you into the dopest chapter of GDIs ever.

Pros:

There are literally hundreds of people who are dealing with this exact problem right now, so you’re not as alone as you feel. Plus you have options when you’re searching for a buddy to eat ice cream and listen to Simple Plan with.

You’re a free agent. Go to all of the parties. Become friends with all of the guys and gals. Wear all of the colors of the rainbow and any of the 26 letters of the alphabet.

Men, you don’t have to pretend that the Confederate flag isn’t at least mildly offensive! (This is me not mentioning hazing. Is it subtle? Good.)

Women, nobody will tell you to wear a certain stiff T-shirt once a week!

You will save thou$and$ of dollars.

Your Monday evenings are so freakin’ open, and will be all semester.

You don’t have to raise money for charities. (Just kidding. Get out there and volunteer, bitches.)

You won’t be put into group texts with an obnoxiously large number of keyboard-happy people.

You can do whatever you want basically all the time. Unless you have a stuffy significant other or an overbearing mommy or a house arrest anklet, you’re G*d Damn Independent and ready to mingle. Spread those new unaffiliated wings and fly, my children.

“You can go your own waaaaaay.”

-Lindsey Buckingham, gentleman, scholar, GDI