Another year of watching couples exchange gifts. Another year of puking over their cuteness.
Valentine’s Day lies right around the corner and you’re single. Again.
You parents continue their annual ritual of asking if you’ve found a husband or wife in life, only to give them the same answer. You counter their disappointed looks and hushed comments about your love life with a strong sense of independence and explain how you haven’t found the right one yet.
Your friends rush to find you a boyfriend or girlfriend before the 14th because they’re tired of watching you sprawled on your bed, crying and comparing your life to romantic comedies, and eating chocolate truffles from a heart-shaped box that you bought for yourself.
This year, avoid the nagging and the criticism and confound your friends and family with a new boyfriend or girlfriend for only $24.99!
That’s right, what better way to cover up your crippling loneliness than with a personalized partner. The apps Invisible Boyfriend and Invisible Girlfriend help you create a significant other, full service includes 100 texts, 10 voicemails, and 1 handwritten note.
But the app does more than creating the illusion of a special someone in your life, it also “creates a safe space for you to practice texting with a real human if you’re out of practice,” according to a statement on the company blog. And if you already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, the company comments, “Sometimes it even inspires just enough jealousy to jolt that special person into committing.”
Because that’s exactly how you want to go about that. Definitely the sure signs of a healthy relationship. Wow.
Anyway, the site grants you full control over the relationship. You can make up the backstory of how ya’ll met, his personality, and profile. But if you’re not a romantic, the site randomly generates it all for you.
Maybe the site isn’t for you, but if you submit a selfie to the app and someone selects you as an invisible boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ll get paid. That’s right, you’ll get paid real money for your selfie.
And there you have it, the one stop site to convince yourself and others that you won’t be alone this Valentine’s Day.
