The confined heart

This is part 2 in a 2-part series on boldness for Christ.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in Me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

…Reach out and meet new people so you can bring them to Christ. Don’t plan your life as if you have control. If it’s in your heart to go to a foreign country to spread the word of God, so be it. Don’t hesitate. If down the street is all you feel called to go, then take the opportunity and take it as seriously as if you were going halfway across the world. Rejoice in your persecution for Christ’s sake. Do not be confined by earthly desires. You know better. You can be a great man in Christ. It isn’t that difficult to follow. Unconditional surrender. Run after God as if He were in a Ferrari on the Autobahn speeding away from you. Remember that as you draw closer to God, He draws closer to you (James 4:8). Realize that every temptation is important. The devil will count it small in your mind, but count each battle important. God sees it as important, and so should you. Rejoice in each victory and don’t belittle it by saying “Well, no big deal. I overcame that yesterday too.” Fight daily against struggles you have seemed to overcome days, weeks, months, or even years ago. Pornography, wandering eyes, pride, conceitedness, gluttony. Adultery of the heart. You have been unfaithful in your heart to girlfriends in the past. At all times, Reed, you have faced the temptation of at least one of these. You have defeated all of these through Christ, even if just for a moment. Pray continually and unceasingly. Pray with your actions and your words. Keep your mind on things above. You will not be as quick to anger if you’re not constantly analyzing everything someone says because they are important to you. Realize fully and honestly that you depend on women way too much for acceptance. Throw away that unholy desire. Desire instead to trust God to find you a woman for whom you can display the Gospel every day. Be cool in His grace. Don’t act like you’re cool. Be humble and abide in Him. That is the surest way to the real “cool.” Think the least of yourself and yet be eternally secure in your destiny. It sounds hard, but it’s there for the taking. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Be strong in your weakness before God. Your vices are simply you trying to rebel against God at the devil’s encouraging. They will resurface if you’re not careful. Be comforted in God’s arms knowing that nothing you do can make Him love you any more or less. You have been saved. You are redeemed from the fire pits of hell. You shall no longer abide in the flesh but in the Spirit. Surrender is freedom. It sounds straight out of an Animal Farm or Brave New World-type book, but it’s true. Those who lose their lives for Christ’s sake will gain them. Be wholly committed to Christ. For too long you have had nine toes in the world, and one in Christ just to make you look good. Put both feet toward Christ and never look back! It is foolish to try to be “on fire for God” while still denying your adventurous Spirit. “On fire for God” is not a defense position. Reed, you weren’t meant to be a phalanx, built for defense. The armor of God may seem ready for defense, but there’s no accident in the “sword of the Spirit” (Ephesians 6:10-17). It was meant to be used for offense. A person may survive to live another day with defense, but he does not come alive until He takes the offense and goes after what He truly wants in his heart, a personal, devoted connection to God through the sacrifice of Christ and the Holy Spirit. I am sick and tired of playing defense. It’s emptiness to the umpteenth degree. It will never satisfy me. God made me for His purpose. I should realize that I have talents of reason, humor and compassion. I would seem to be a great candidate for God’s purposes. I am. I should believe it. I should demand more of myself. I live in idleness and waste my talents. I am disgusted with what I have let the devil do in me. I am pleased with what God has done in me. How foolish then am I to continue to live in sin? I once thought myself on par with God. I was missing the point. God and I are partners. We aren’t in competition. We are working together to defeat the Evil One. God doesn’t need me to do this, but He wants me to be his point man in the battle against sin and separation from God. I am important. I am created in His image. What a relief. Constant reminders are what I need. This whole document is what I want to be that I’ve held inside for so long. It is shameful, but I am not ashamed of this moment. I am free. I have never felt more at home with myself. I know who I am. More importantly, I know whose I am. It’s no celestial accident or Big Bang. I know in my heart that thinking that way would be a huge mistake. I refuse to believe something I know to be false. I am the only Bible some people may ever see. May I not waste that golden opportunity. I will love them with all my heart, not just part of it. I will not live this confined, restricted life. I wasn’t meant to. I am being rebellious against God. I need to stop that right now. I need to be rebellious for God. I don’t need to be tamed. This is all talk if I don’t do anything about it. So here is me starting to do it. I won’t look back. I won’t regret. I will live. No matter what. I won’t be the same, and it won’t be me who gets the credit. It will be Him.

Reed Hanson is a junior electrical engineering major. He can be reached at [email protected].