The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

SMU professor Susanne Scholz in the West Bank in 2018.
SMU professor to return to campus after being trapped in Gaza for 12 years
Sara Hummadi, Video Editor • May 18, 2024

Girls, girls, girls

 Girls, girls, girls
Girls, girls, girls

Girls, girls, girls

With several serious relationships under his belt, Cousin Davythinks he knows all there is to know about girls. He even developeda categorization of girls, and according to him, there are only tendifferent types. Surely, there must be more than ten. I’mprobably five that aren’t on the list and eight out of tenthat are on the list.1. You are a bitch.

You take crap from no one, and you get into it with everyone.You get irritated by dumb things, and you hold stupid grudges. Youdon’t get along- you get attitude. You think you are rightall the time, and if somebody has a problem with you, you’reout of there.

2. You are shady.

You hide your life from other people because you are afraid ofwhat people will think or you just want to be “MissMysterious.” You don’t want people to know whoyou’re dating, where you live, all that.

3. You are easy.

You get picked up at the local clubs and bars. You hook up witha guy, his friends and brothers. Boyfriend? Of course not. Guysrecognize your name in conversation.

4. You are an airhead.

You have no idea what is going on at any time. You ask thedumbest questions you can think of. You are as dumb as a box ofrocks. You are book smart, but you can’t use any of it in thereal world. You can’t even design your way out of a cardboardbox. People think you’re smart, but when they get to know youthey feed you rocks.

5. You are a materialistic rich girl.

You have expensive items and create the image of the rich girl.You wear around expensive sunglasses and carry an expensive purse.You drive an expensive car. You wear a lot of Burberry. You havesomething Gucci, Versace, etc. You HAVE to look good. Image iseverything to you. You talk down to the people that do your hair,nails and makeup. You even buy your boyfriend name brand stuff YOUwear.

6. You are a BWN (boyfriend’s worst nightmare).

You can’t stand the fact that you can be without him. Youcling. You are nothing without him. You are scared he will leaveyou. You miss him every minute of every hour. You call all the damntime. Guy’s night out? Forget it. No strip clubs. YOU CLING.You get mad if he doesn’t spend the whole day with you. Youget mad if he spends the whole day without you and doesn’tmake up for it. Your boyfriend becomes some needy/vulnerable hybridwith a bit of whooped mixed in there. You are nothing without yourboyfriend. You think LOVE is the best thing in the whole world. YouLOVE being in LOVE!

7. You are prissy.

You are president of all the organizations. You think you arethe top dog. You have a big head and think you are so smart andpretty and all the boys like you. You have traits of materialisticand bitch. You get really good grades and think that you are aboveeveryone else but don’t realize people don’t likeyou.

8. You are the drama queen.

You want the attention. You want people to feel bad for you. Youseek the affirmation of your peers. You have low self-esteem. Yousay and do the dumbest things to get attention. You make a big dealout of nothing.

9. You are a party animal.

You go out ALL the time, even on the weekends. You have WAY toomuch to drink ALL the time. You smoke a lot. You wear clubbingclothes, even to school. You yell and scream a lot. Your boyfriendnever knows where you are. You get picked up at clubs and bars.

10. You are a gangsta.

You chill with all the gangsters and thugs. You can be a dramaqueen, a bitch, shady and a party animal. Any of those or all ofthose. You have gotten into a physical fight with someone. You caneye gouge. You wear athletic gear to clubs sometimes. You own apiece.


What it sounds like to me is he took all the bad qualities ofevery girl from every relationship gone wrong and decided to writeabout them. I don’t think girls are so simple that we couldbe classified into any one generalization. But okay, I’llgive it to Davy this week. Tune in next week for Ann’scategorization of boys.


Ann Truong is a senior math and electrical engineering doublemajor. She may be contacted at [email protected].

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