I got a new car this weekend while in Houston. It’s a 2008 Honda Civic. I like it. It has automatic locks.

There are certain steps you must take when driving a new car.

First, you must name it. I have decided on a name my roommate came up with: Cindy. Cindy the Civic.

Second, you must take it on the freeway and go as fast as you possibly can. Cops will understand once you tell them that you’re just testing your car for the first time to see how fast it will go.

And third, you must take your car on a date. A date to a car could be anything from dinner and a shake to a drive-in movie theater.

I decided to go to a drive-in.

So this weekend, me and a few friends decided to drive 30 miles south of Dallas to the drive-in theater to see a movie. I have never been to a drive-in movie theater, so it was actually pretty exciting.

My dad told me stories of how, when he was in high school, they would put three or four people in the trunk, make one guy drive in by himself, and then once they were in they would hop out and sit in the car. Ah, the good ole days.

We decided not to sneak into the drive in, but went in above board. We picked a perfect spot. We were instructed to turn our radio to the corresponding AM station that would give us the audio.

And there we sat in my car watching “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” in a drive-in movie theater.

I wish Congress would pass some kind of law to keep these places around; there’s something so magical about them. And romantic.

So dudes, if you need a cute, romantic date, just drive on down to Ennis, Texas and take your gal to a drive-in.

It’s a short column this week, so we have time for a letter:

Dear JP,

My girlfriend is being so mean to me. She constantly makes fun of me for being short and calls me names like stupid head and dumb-dumb. I go to bed every night crying because I am so unhappy. Any advice?

-Dave

Uh…Dave? Break up with her.

John Paul Green is a sophomore theater major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].