Something to Drink to

With the presidential race rapidly nearing its November climax,the media has provided us students with a constantly confusing andcontradicting political landscape that leaves us tearing our hairout — writhing in an unending string of questions we wantanswered.

Which candidate is best? Who’s telling the truth: CNN orFox? Where did CBS find those documents? Does anyone actually careif Bush partied in college? Did Kerry embellish to receive thosepurple hearts in Vietnam? Which candidates have better hair: Kerryand Edwards, or Bush and Cheney? Whose daughters are hotter:Kerry’s or Bush’s?

Unfortunately, Uncle Macky’s stumped except on the lastone — but everyone knows the Bush twins have an edgethere.

After studying a recent survey, however, I can assure you thatpeople who watch “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart onComedy Central are more intelligent and successful than those whotune in to “The O’Reilly Factor” on Fox News.

That’s right, Mustangs. But allow me to back up a littlebit before the Young Republicans of America leave a burning wooden”W” on my front lawn.

When Jon Stewart appeared on “The O’ReillyFactor” Sept. 17, Bill O’Reilly characterized theentire “Daily Show” audience as “stonedslackers.” O’Reilly also asserted that”it’s frightening [that Jon Stewart] actually has aninfluence on this presidential election.”

I’m sure both parties were unaware that a new study wasabout to reveal that not only are Jon Stewart’s viewers onaverage wealthier, but also are more likely to be more educatedthan Bill O’Reilly’s.

To quote the ever-so-articulate Hank Hill from Fox’s”King of the Hill:” “Do what?”

Sure, I’m a devout Stewart fan, but I’m just assurprised as any fellow. I mean, come on. I’m a pretty bigmoron. Although the study, which was conducted between July 15 andSept. 19 and released on Sept. 21 by the Annenberg Public PolicyCenter of the University of Pennsylvania, didn’t clarify theaccuracy of Bill O’Reilly’s assertion that “87percent [of Jon Stewart’s audience] is intoxicated when theywatch [‘The Daily Show’],” the research revealedsome shockingly enticing facts regarding both hosts’fan-base.

Read, digest and ponder over the following statistics that werereached after polling 19,013 adults, oh Daily Campusfaithful…

The median age of “The Daily Show’s” audienceis 35 and their income is $67,000 while the median age of TheO’Reilly Factor is 63 and their income is $54,000.

Of “The Daily Show” viewers, 78 percent are morelikely than the average adult to have four or more years ofcollege, and the O’Reilly Factor viewers are only 24 percentmore likely to have four or more years of college in the samecomparison.

“Daily Show” viewers are 26 percent more likely thanthe average adult to have a household income of $100,000-plus while”O’Reilly Factor” viewers are only 11 percentmore likely than the average adult to have a household income of$100,000-plus.

“Daily Show” viewers are 37 percent more likely thanthe average adult to be in a “white collar” professionand “O’Reilly Factor” viewers are 15 percent lesslikely than the average adult to be in a “white collar”profession.

Gasp! Shriek! I’m having a heart attack! Timmy! SMUconservatives scream, “That’s so not right, you liberalbastard!” while SMU liberals cheer, “I told you so! Itold you so!”

I’m sure most of you are wondering how this came about.”What sort of questions were asked?” and “Whatdoes this all mean?” you ask.

After reading a PR Newswire, I can honestly say that a few ofthe questions weren’t as ridiculously obvious as I imagined— and keep in mind that these were asked prior to thepresidential and vice-presidential debates.

According to the newswire, “The campaign knowledge testcovered such topics as which candidate favors allowing workers toinvest some of their Social Security contributions in the stockmarket, the income range at which John Kerry would eliminate theBush tax cut and which candidate is a former prosecutor.”

The questions could confuse some, but apparently “DailyShow” viewers were most likely to know the answers. So Iguess they aren’t mere “stoned slackers” afterall.

But let’s get something straight.

Sure these findings are interesting and may put some things intoperspective, but I wholeheartedly believe that “The DailyShow’s” implications aren’t as dire as someconservatives — i.e. O’Reilly — would like peopleto think.

Stewart isn’t actively working on his own liberal agendato sway anyone politically. He’s just a news anchor whowholly understands the issues and transforms bland news into easilydigestible, sort of hard-hitting, witty banter that’sappealing to today’s youth.

For instance, I was watching “The Daily Show” afterlast week’s presidential debate with a staunch republicanbuddy from Austin who’s one step away from getting a”W” tattooed on his forehead. He said that hedidn’t like the show because it seemed to mock the wholemedia and electoral system.

Well of course it does. That’s the point. After all,it’s on Comedy Central. Stewart doesn’t go out therefour nights a week repeating, “Attack Bush! Attack Cheney! Iwant eight years of Kerry!”

He’s also certainly not — as far as I know —trying to surface any secret undertakings by the Bushadministration like Woodward and Bernstein did to Nixon.He’ll just make fun of Condoleezza Rice and Karl Rove; and ifKerry wins, Stewart will certainly make fun of the Kerryadministration. At least someone’s doing it well!

But allow Stewart to prove this himself. He did on theO’Reilly Factor last month.

“You [O’Reilly] and I are not competitors,let’s be frank about it,” he said. “We’renot competitors in terms of content. You’re a news show, andwe are a comedy show.”

This is true, and that’s why I love “The DailyShow.” Even if Jon Stewart may lean a little left, he’sstill a well-learned, comedic genius who satirizes bothpresidential candidates, as well as their respective politicalparties, equally at that.

So please diverge from all things conservative and beopen-minded, ye O’Reilly faithful. Try out Jon Stewartbecause he’ll probably make you laugh — if not at Bush,then certainly at Kerry. According to the same research, “Ofthe 83 political jokes made by Stewart, only nine specificallytargeted Bush. That was 11 percent of his political jokes. The samenumber targeted Kerry.”

And that’s why Jon Stewart receives the cheer-of-the-week.Not only does he keep his viewers politically enlightened, but healso does so in a way that’s cleverly funny and not overlybullying and mean-spirited. I drink to you, Sir Stewart. Keep upthe good work because you rock like Keith Richards.

Mack Mayo is a junior English major. He may be reached [email protected].