Why bother?

I rarely count on college publications for my news — I canlog onto KRTcampus.com myself to pick up the bulk ofcredible news from certain unnamed daily papers that you’rereading right now. I rely even less on opinion pieces to get thisnews.

Maybe I’m out of touch with the college experience. Have Ibeen so lost in midterms and thesis-driven arguments that I findcommentaries directed toward me, the average student,ridiculous?

Let me tell you, last week’s commentary about “Whythe Youth Don’t Vote” was pretty much news to me.

When, in the past, have issues of presidential candidatesreached the youth on a practical level? I’m sure a number ofyou undecided voters would vote Kerry if he told you he’dlower the legal drinking age to 10.

If Dubya complemented his education bill with “No Keg LeftBehind” for college students, I’m sure it would triggerthe attention of at least couple of you.

The serious surprise in reading last week’s commentary wasthe gravity it placed on your vote. No, your mom didn’t lie;you (just like your vote) are very special in your own way.

Let’s face it; Those of you who plan on voting here in thegreat state of Texas really have no way of stopping the Republicanpolitical juggernaut.

If you are scared, or if you feel plagued by the awesome amountof power and responsibility that’s being put in your hands asa voter in Texas, you really shouldn’t be out in the worldmaking decisions as profound as stopping at stop signs or smilingat strangers. Give up now.

Let me guess: “Friends” is off the air and aprofessor told you the debates would be discussed in class.

Nothing else was on and when your friends talk politics you wantto make sure you can keep up. NBC. Debates. ABC. Debates. CBS.Debates. At least you can count on FOX for tasteless cartoons or”Who Wants to Marry a Midget.” But wait, more debates?It was almost like the Almighty Himself was telling yousomething.

After watching the first debate, the only thing you rememberhaving heard is the word “denigrate.”

The second debate was much more poignant, showing a personalside of George we don’t normally see: “I wasn’thappy when we found out there wasn’t weapons.” A tearalmost welled up in your eyes. You felt for him. But didn’tKerry say something about a “weapon of mass deception?”Thank goodness we got that! I mean did they send Stevie Wonder toinspect for weapons?

So vote Bush. He’s made a stronger attempt at consistencyduring his campaign for reelection. He’s keeping taxes downfor mommy and daddy. He stopped big, bad Saddam Hussein in hisdirty, tyrannical, pseudo-quasi-Al-Qaeda resembling tracks (theyare both Muslim, right? There must be some connection).

It’s not as though national debt has worn a hole in any ofour pockets (as manifested by the abundance of severely outdatedLouis Vuitton-monogrammed eyesores).

Oh, and have you seen that smooth-talking Republican VP?It’s no wonder he can seamlessly weave between big businessand politics.

Or vote Kerry. You know you saw Fahrenheit 9/11. You alsoknow being anti-Bush is the only thing more chic than those quirkylittle hybrid cars.

You couldn’t care less about the rich being taxed, andafter last semester’s macroeconomics class, the state of theeconomy has had you tossing and turning amidst the little sleep youget. And who can really rest when some children are being leftbehind?

When you think of freeing Iraq, you don’t think of sellingtheir resources (natural and human) to major American corporationsfaster than someone can say, “Dick Cheney, CEO.” Booimperialism! Boo big oil millionaires! Vote true freedom.

Or vote Nader. They say geniuses pick Green, but what if youtake votes from Kerry? Would it be in accordance withenvironmentalist ideals to waste the gas to drive out and vote forNader? Probably not.

Here’s the exceptional dilemma for those of you who callTexas “home.” We voted him governor. We voted him lastelection. Hell, we even voted his pops.

By the numbers the polls have reflected, if every person holdingthis paper (even the trash collectors tomorrow) showed up and votedKerry, Bush would still hold a commanding majority.

It wouldn’t be democratic or prudent of me to say yourvote makes no difference. But if you don’t vote, you’dbe in no position to sit on a bench one day after retirementwondering why your social security check is still lost in themail.

You couldn’t complain when you sit on the phone trying toget support for your laptop only to discover their tech support isnow being to a country that speaks less English than India.Mashallah, IBM!

You’d even have to keep quiet when your sister’sboyfriend’s brother’s stepsister’s draftedfiancé gets decapitated by Iraqi insurgents. But I meansister and brother in a Greek sense, such that the pointisn’t driven too close to home.

So if you vote, don’t do it because you think it willgenuinely make a difference; it probably won’t. Vote becauseof the ideology behind it. But as the saying goes, if you haveideology in one hand and Iraqi oil in the other, you can guesswhich one you’re going to smell first.

So if your dog does eat your registration card, we won’thold it against you.

Mohamed Allibhai is a sophomore journalism major. He may becontacted at [email protected].