Ask Nell
Q: Dear Nell,
I read your article a little while ago about some guy said that girls are teases. As a girl, I can tell you that there are just as many guy teases as there are girls. Girls like the attention, but my guy friend told me that its purposeless action done without thinking. Is that true?
– Being Teased
A: Dear Being Teased,
I completely agree that guys can teases as much as girls do. The difference between the two is motive. Several guys I asked about this said that they get flirty (and thus tease) because they’re a. lonely b. drunk or c. bored. They are not thinking “How are my teasing skills?”. Girls tend to analyze things more and know what they are doing. Many guys, when later confronted as being teases will have no idea about who they teased or how. Some guys will go as far as too be all over a girl, tell her sweet nothings, and claim it was just “hanging out.” As always, everybody is different and there are guys who will tease with a purpose. If you ever really want to know, ask them point blank, “Where is this going?”
Dear Nell,
My friends and I want to know if you will ever do some kind of an article on what means what in today’s sex world. You can start with **** ******.
– Curious
Dear Curious,
Thanks for the suggestion, but if you can tell me an informative and tactful (note the emphasis on tactful) way to attack this, then you will have you article. I’m not at liberty to print your particular request (I don’t think that the SMU parents and faculty would enjoy hearing about it). If you must know your definition, there is a great ski equipment company you can visit at www.duckbutter.com.
Dear Nell,
I dated a girl for a long time (about 3 years). We broke up for mutual reasons about 2 months ago. I’m still trying to get over her, but it seems like everything I see reminds me of her. I end up getting depressed at a dumb country song or at seeing a movie we saw together. My friends just keep trying to take me out to “get over it” but I feel like I never will. I don’t want to get back with her, I just want my life back. Is there any way to be sedated for a few weeks and wake up un-heart broken?
– Sick of Being Love Sick
Dear Sick,
Unfortunately, every kind of sedation-inducing substance I’ve heard of is very illegal and will probably make you see small gnomes playing leap frog. I feel really bad for you because you are learning a very hard lesson in life: how to get over a broken heart. I know this situation well, and can bet that you have trouble sleeping, always feel anxious and upset, and would do anything to forget about your ex for just one hour. The bad news? On average, it takes you half the time of the relationship to get over somebody, so you have a year and a half journey ahead of you. The good news? You will only feel like you do now for about 2-4 more months. Getting over a broken heart is not easy. Your friends try to understand, but they just want you to have fun and “snap out of it.” I do have some advice to help you through your time of need. First of all, spend as much time with friends and family, even if just eating or hanging out. The more time you spend alone, the more time you start to think about her. Second, make a list about all the things you hated about her. Remember the tampon runs at 3 a.m.? This will help you remember that you do not want to be with her. Lastly, get yourself a support buddy. Your support buddy will be on call for you as much as you need, just to talk or complain. A good friend will be willing to do anything. As a last piece of comfort, a broken heart can be survived. Every day you will feel better and better, until one day, you will wake up and realize that you haven’t thought about her in a long time…and it will feel really good. Hang in there and keep in mind that broken hearts have been around for centuries and that everyone will have one at least once in their lives. At least yours is going on now rather than later.
