Everyone knows a few good pairs of shoes are an essential part of any wardrobe, but why do we love shoes as much as we do? Perhaps it’s the cult following of “Kelly’s Shoes” on YouTube, or maybe Carrie Bradshaw’s obsession with Manolo Blahniks, but more likely it’s how shoes make us feel when we wear them.

No matter how many shoes we accumulate over the years, we never seem to have enough: It’s an insatiable appetite for fancy footwear, if you will. Whether it’s an old pair of sneakers that you can’t give up, or those stilettos that make you feel oh-so sexy, the right choice of shoes can set your mood for the day. With that said, you must be selective when picking out your back-to-school kicks.

First things first: A good pair of tennis shoes are perfect for walking around campus, and sometimes for the occasional dash to a class for which you are already 10 minutes late.

My favorite people to watch are the silly girls who feel the need to wear pumps to class everyday, sinking deep into the mud and turf with every footstep. Also amusing are the boys in thong sandals who couldn’t care less about their dirt and filth ridden feet (nasty).

Like I said, tennis shoes are the way to go, but not a big clunky pair from the late ’90s – rather a chic pair of cycling shoes or a new pair of running shoes from a department store (not the practical kind from a legitimate running store). Just because shoes should be comfortable for class and daytime errands doesn’t mean you can’t look cute at the same time.

As for going out at night, there is a completely different set of shoe rules to abide by. First and foremost, shoes should be sexy and look phenomenal with your outfit for that night. Second, if you plan on going out to the local bars and clubs, your shoes should be durable:

Drunk college students WILL step on your toes, spill drinks on you, and you may even step in some mystery substance that no matter how much you think about it, you can’t quite figure out its origin.

I suggest outlet shoes, lesser brand or cheaper shoes. But most of all they should be comfy shoes, because if you plan on walking the morning after a long night on the town, they had better be shoes you can wear all night without developing massive blisters on every inch of your feet.

Now for those shoes that you spend an inordinate amount of money on, but can’t bear the thought of getting them scuffed: Where can you wear them? You should reserve those Louboutins for dinners at five-star restaurants, cocktail parties and places that generally don’t have ranting drunks screaming profanities at you. The same goes for all the guys out there. This kind of shoe should hurt: if they don’t, they aren’t sexy enough. Thus they should not be worn for extended periods of time because that’s what causes bunions and bleeding.

For every occasion there is the perfect pair of shoes. The question is: Do you know which shoes fall under each category? One thing is for certain: If your shoes can “talk to you,” it’s time to throw them out!