Sex and the single girl
Last night I learned about sexual intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, circumcision, and sexually transmitted infections in the company of 50 fraternity members.
As the only woman in attendance at the guys section of the “Let’s talk about sex” lecture sponsored by BACCHUS, Interfraternity Council, and the Women’s Center, I finally was able to see what the boys discussed when I was locked in the girl’s lecture in fifth grade. Speaker Juan Carrion of Bryan’s House and the Male Connection gave the men information about STIs, safe sex, prostate cancer, and women’s issues.
After 20 years of learning about women’s health and sexual issues, it was an interesting break to hear it from the guys’ point of view. In fact, I learned more because I was able to skip the usual pad, tampon and birth control option lecture that I could probably give myself by now.
Before the lecture even started, many men took advantage of the free condoms, apparently unaware that the Health Center offers them year round. I caught a few of them glancing to see if I was paying attention, perhaps because later I found that some were under the impression that I would be giving the talk. (Note to self: consider lecturing to fraternities about sex as major.)
Carrion kept the lecture real and yet respectful of people from all walks of life. He discussed sexual acts, organs and diseases in common street terms mainly to keep audience attention. The most prevalent misconception of terms seemed to be the idea that fellatio meant giving a female oral sex, rather than the idea of a woman performing oral sex on a man. The formal term for the act the audience member referred to is cunnilingus.
In Dallas alone, even on SMU’s campus, Carrion explained that we are surrounded by over 25 different STIs. The seven most common are chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, chancroids, HPV and HIV. It’s especially important to be aware of the risks and precautionary measures you can take on a college campus with 50 percent of those with STIs being between the ages of 9-26.
No matter how healthy someone looks, Carrion pointed out that they could be carrying an invisible killer. When he pointed to me as an example of a healthy looking female, I at first felt as if I was likened to a walking STD, but it was easy to see the importance of the example. Any of the men that surrounded me could be carrying a disease and may not know it themselves.
“How often do you ask that special girl how many partners she has before you?” Carrion asked. He pointed out that even if you do ask a potential partner, there is usually one obvious answer, “Baby, you are the only girl for me . . . tonight.” Not only is this statement unfair to the partner, its completely overlooking the five from last night, even if they were attached to your palm, joked Carrion.
I was very interested in his explanations of how STIs could be transmitted. He clarified that despite the popularity of the “squat” among women, STIs cannot be transmitted from a toilet seat, sharing a glass or even from a sneeze. Instead, STIs require a temperature of 98.6, moisture, food, alkalinity, darkness, and oxygen to survive. The perfect place to breed infection is the human body, thus leaving any sexual act where fluid flows from one partner to the other as a main cause of infection. Oral sex and anal sex are thus not safe alternatives as at least one partner is being exposed to seminal or vaginal fluid.
Overall, health was also an important part of Carrion’s lecture. Although I have always been instructed to keep close watch on my health and visit a doctor regularly, many men are taught to tough it out. When men avoid the doctor to keep up the “tough guy” image, it opens the door for serious conditions to worsen and perhaps get out of control. Carrion told the story of a 17-year-old who lost both testicles to cancer that went unchecked for quite some time. When he explained the emotional effects of losing a part of your manhood, as well as the physical inability to have children, it gave me goosebumps.
To me, the differences in the basic upbringing of males and females were the most intriguing. Surprisingly, there are people out there that are not taught to bathe from the top down. For uncircumcised males, Carrion said it is important to pull the skin back and clean away the “cheese-like” build up both in the shower and before sex. Several males, to my surprise, were also unaware that the proper wiping technique for females is front to back. Then again, I was surprised by some of the male bathroom techniques.
“Shake it, squeeze it, pump it, and put it away,” Carrion summed up the different methods of getting the last few drops.
Carrion did not ignore female issues, and even encouraged men to remind their significant others to go for a yearly exam or Pap test. I was pleased to see that many of the men at least listened to what he had to say, especially since Carrion mentioned that they could one day be raising a little girl on their own.
Across the science quad, the women were having their own meeting in the Dedman Science building. The importance of exams and safe sex was discussed, along with several new contraceptive devices, including the patch and the vaginal ring. Dr. Nancy Merrill, who gave the presentation, came with many visual aids including the notorious STI slides.
I spent the last half-hour discussing the new contraceptive devices with pharmaceutical representatives that shared samples, pamphlets, promotional materials, and more free condoms. I found the women very informative, especially concerning questions about switching methods. To make it even better, the “girl’s” session offered snacks and soda while the “guy’s” only offered sodas.
I guess there are always some perks to being a girl, even if we have to squat.
Sex and the single girl
