Running dry

I turned 21 a few days ago. I came to find out that to many people this birthday is some sort of highly important milestone, whereas as far as I was concerned it was just another day. I think several aspects of one’s legal status change at 21, but for most people the birthday is significant for one reason: One becomes legally old enough to buy alcoholic drinks at that age. And that’s exactly why my 21st birthday mattered very little to me.

I may not listen to hardcore punk or sport black X tattoos, but I am completely Straight Edge. It would be hard to say exactly when I made the decision to live a lifestyle free of alcohol, tobacco, illegal drugs, abuse of legal drugs, and/or casual sex. I suppose it would only be fair to say that I could not really consider myself Straight Edge until I had actually been in a situation where I would have to turn down any of the behaviors I deny myself. In that case, it would have to be just after finishing high school, though I had known what I wanted to do (or not,) for some time. I have no intention of ever altering this position I hold, especially not after making such a public pronouncement about it.

It seems to me that my reasons for choosing this lifestyle hardly need explaining, but I’ll share them anyway. I’ve heard enough awful stories about people ending up incarcerated, indebted, disabled or dead after indulging themselves in the things I avoid. I’m not just referring to the kinds of stories we were all told in school. One only needs to look at headlines, the SMU Police reports, or a typical episode of “Behind the Music” to see what I mean. How much lower would the highway fatality rate be if no one drove drunk? How many accidental shootings, unintended pregnancies, foolish wagers, and the like are made while sober?

Along the same lines, I question my judgment at the best of times, and can’t imagine why I would want to impair it. I have no desire to disorder my senses in order to help me forget about real life for a while. If I’m dissatisfied with the circumstances of my life or my mental state, I intend to do what I can to rectify or ameliorate the problem, instead of looking for a quick fix in order to stop thinking about it. As it’s been wittily stated, there’s nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away. On another level, but no less important, I don’t want to throw my money and time away on things that practically define the term vice.

I don’t want my money going to line the pockets of people getting rich off of other people’s misery. I value my health, both now and (especially) in the future. I believe I might have a personality prone to addiction, and thus I don’t feel like taking any chances. I think that about covers it.

Occasionally, when I tell people that I’m a Straight Edger, I get a response along the lines of “But you’re not weird about it, are you?” If by this the questioner means to ask if I am one of those people who hangs out in a Straight Edge clique, with all the associated confrontations upon encountering drinkers/smokers etc., then the answer is no. I don’t go that far, though I’ve never really had the opportunity to fall in with a group of similar-minded folk. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with being around people engaged in the sorts of things I wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, though with that said, I should add that I really can’t stand drunks.

I always seem to end up arguing with them, and there’s really no way to win an argument with someone who’s inebriated. Making matters worse, in my first semester of college, I returned to the residence hall one day to discover a note on my computer, informing me that somebody was passed out drunk down the hall, and since everybody else was leaving, the task of making sure he didn’t perish had fallen to me (and, as it happened, a couple other people who were still in the hall.)

I was mildly annoyed at the time, only to become progressively more irritated when the drunk awoke, turning into one of the most frightening people I’ve ever encountered in my life. His outbursts of violence (with a metal trash can) were thankfully confined to his own body, but all things considered I only had my decision to avoid alcohol reinforced that day.

I know how abnormal my decision is, but I’m sticking to it. I’ve got the Straight Edge, as Ian McKaye shouted almost 20 years ago.