Here’s an interesting concept: accessories. I’vecome to draw the analogy that dating in college is likeaccessorizing.

With accessories, you don’t really need them, butthey’re nice to have.

Accessorizing can be fun.

You have quite a few options, and variety is always good.

Guys have become accessories, kind of like a purse —something to have on the side of your arm when you go out.

A purse is always good to have for parties, formals and othersuch events. Mind you, they’re not always necessary.

They look good around the arm, but they also serve otherfunctions, such as holding your money, your ID and your keys.

Oh yeah, a purse does all of these things, too.

Sometimes, it’s hard dancing with a purse, because a pursedoesn’t move. It tends to just get in the way as you’rebreaking it down on the dance floor.

So far in college, I’ve only had off-the-streets-of-NewYork purses.

I’m still waiting for that Louis Vuitton — genuineand authentic.

OK, you caught me. I’m still waiting for that LouisVuitton — worth a lot of money.

Have you ever had an accessory that grew on you?

It was like a purse that was so ugly that it was cute, and youweren’t quite sure why you liked it but you did.

Have you ever had an accessory that was ugly, but the onlyreason you had it was because it was worth a lot?

It was like that new Louis Vuitton purse that wasn’t allthat cute, and there was nothing really special about it, but youliked it because it was worth a lot of money.

Have you ever had an accessory that you used once and thenshoved into the back of your closet?

Or borrowed an accessory for one occasion and then returned itonce it served its purpose?

Have you ever had an accessory that your mother picked out orbought for you?

Sometimes accessories come with accessories of their own.

If a guy has a dope ride, you would look twice as nice, and youwouldn’t mind showing off the new purse and the wallet thatcame with it.

Or he might have a good-looking friend, and in all fairness, ifa purse comes with a wallet, you’re allowed to take thewallet out and use it without the purse.

Sometimes the accessory doesn’t come with very much oranything at all.

It just looks good.

That’s when you use it and get your money’s worthout of it, then return it and get your money back.

In which case, you would have gotten something for nothing, andthere’s no better bargain than getting something forfree.

Sometimes you don’t just get a purse — you getbaggage.

You get a complete set of luggage. Hopefully, the airline losesyour luggage.

And if they happen to find it, deny that it’s yours.

This whole concept seems a little gender biased.

Okay, it’s very much gender biased, because guysdon’t carry purses.

Guys have wallets — the same one they had in middle schoolwith the Velcro. They abuse their wallets and wear them ragged bysitting on them and throwing them around, often losing them.

Occasionally, guys will see that nice leather one, andthey’re tempted to get it, thinking it’s about time fora new wallet.

They’ll get that new wallet and ditch the old one. Butthey’ll use it a couple of times and realize that it’snot as durable and dependable as the old one.

OK, OK, so we are not accessories. We are actual people, withfeelings and some kind of meaningful purpose.

But apathy seems to have found its way to my door, so I have nofeelings.

And I have yet to figure out what meaningful purpose guysserve.

Ann Truong is a columnist for The Daily Campus. She may bereached at [email protected].