10 things I hate about SMU

How do I love thee, SMU, let me reconsider the ways.

Tickets

It seems that no matter what you do, where you park, when youpark or how you park, you will get a ticket. If you park slightlyon the line, you’ll get a ticket. If you park anywherebesides the spots designated for you, depending on the color ofyour decal, you’ll get a ticket. Who would’ve thoughtyou could get a ticket for being the wrong color?

If you park on the wrong side of the street, you’ll get aticket. So I guess you call that jayparking? If you park in afaculty lot overnight and don’t move your car at exactly 7a.m., you’ll get a ticket. 7:05 a.m. would be too late,because they’re outside, waiting for you. If you don’tremove an existing ticket from your windshield, you’ll get aticket. That sucks — you’re getting a ticket for havinga ticket.

The auto-flush toilets

They operate on motion sensors, so the slightest movement whileyou’re on the pot will cause the toilet to flush, even ifyou’re not finished with business. Technology is wonderful,but there are some things that should be left to will.

The boot

Beware of the boot. That will teach you to pay your parkingtickets. It’s a beautiful day. Class lets out early, so thatgives you 20 extra minutes for lunch. You’re walking to yourcar, and …what the crud? You find this interesting, yellowcontraption on your car. Those 20 extra minutes are now devoted topaying your tickets and then waiting on someone to remove the boot.Storm clouds start to roll in, and the beautiful day, as you knowit, is gone.

The sticker

What’s worse than the boot? Well, just in case youdidn’t happen to see the boot on your car, they slap stickerson your side window and your windshield letting you know that youjust got booted. At least the boot comes off. The sticker does not.You try very carefully to peel if off, but only a tiny corner of itactually comes off. So you’re driving with this half-peeledsticker on your windshield that obstructs your view. How the helldo they expect you to drive with a sticker in front of your viewlike that? The one sticker on the side window would suffice. Thereis no need for the one on your windshield.

The grading system

Yes, that three-letter acronym that we all fear. I’m nottalking about MIP or the WMD that have yet to be found. I’mtalking about GPA. You could get straight A’s one semester,and it raises your GPA four-hundredths of a point. But you getanything below a B in just one class, and that drops your GPAfive-tenths of a point.

Pay now, buy later

It is the reverse credit system. Instead of buying now andpaying later, we’re paying for the workout center now, but wedon’t get to have it until later. Some of us may never get touse it because by the time it’s constructed, we will havelong graduated. Hey, we don’t mind the tuition increasenow.

Parking garages

How better to start your day than to run late, only to arrive ata line at the parking garages because everyone must swipe theircard or punch in their ID? My solution: toll tags.

Tuition

How is it that they could raise tuition by only 2 percent atSMU, while other schools could raise their tuition by 50 percent,and we would still end up paying five times more tuition than anyother school?

The never-out toilet paper dispensers

Oh, they run out. Just because there are two rolls of paperdoesn’t mean that they never run out.

Holds

Once my scholarships and financial aid were applied, I stillowed the university a penny. Immediately, a hold was placed on myaccount. A hold on your account is like a hold on your life. Youcan’t register for classes, obtain a transcript or, oh Idon’t know … graduate.

When I was due a much needed refund check, I didn’treceive it until a month before the semester was over. That’sokay. I didn’t complain. I just stopped eating for awhile.

Let me say for the record that I love SMU. But since life is allabout duality, with love comes hate.

Ann Truong is a columnist for The Daily Campus. She may bereached at [email protected].