Like a dog returning to its vomit, SMU students continue to shuffle to the Umphrey Lee cafeteria, despite the tendency some people have to lose their lunch while they’re there.
Ed Board would like you to put down that sandwich you’re eating and picture this scenario: A young lady and her boyfriend are eating in the Umphrey Lee cafeteria, and the lady is looking quite obviously ill, either due to a cold or a hangover from last night’s activities. Another student walks by to comfort her and make sure she is alright.
All of a sudden, the young woman grabs an empty soup bowl from her tray and pukes straight into it. Then she takes the tray (without bothering to empty the bowl), puts it on the conveyer and walks off, leaving the cafeteria crew to clean up the mess she made and other unsuspecting students to eat from the “puke bowl.”
Hard to believe that this young woman could belong to SMU’s cultured and upstanding community, right? But that very incident was witnessed earlier this semester in our very own Umphrey Lee cafeteria.
Just last week, two more retch-and-run incidents occurred in close proximity to the cafeteria. The first, in the middle of the week, was so pungent that many students were persuaded to go somewhere else to eat. The second occurred over the weekend in front of the men’s restroom, and while fewer students were there to notice it, those who did see it would probably consider it a very memorable experience indeed.
There are only two conclusions that Ed Board can draw from the seeming inability of SMU students to retain the contents of their stomachs: Either some people are going to the cafeteria knowingly sick or hung-over, or the cafeteria food is so terrible that people can’t even make it out the front door without losing it.
Ed Board is willing to bet that it’s a little of both.
To those students in the first group: Do the rest of us a favor and have a friend cater food to you, rather than try to prove your health and vitality by walking over the cafeteria. If you have the flu, nobody wants to catch it, just as if you’re hung over, nobody wants to clean up after you.
And to those Aramark employees in the second group: How about a little less “Real Food” and a little more incentive not to go to McDonald’s?
