Journal
A few weeks ago I received an invitation to a “spring toast” hosted by GQ Magazine and Ralph Lauren. I was amazed at even getting such an invite. I had to show my mom.
“Ma, check this out! See, I’ll be taking you to the Oscars in no time,”I exclaimed proudly.
It was actually a perk of being a GQ subscriber. I’d never been to a spring toast before – and what’s that anyway? I guess I’d better finish reading the invite. The guests would gather at the Ralph Lauren store in Highland Park Village and enjoy wine and food prepared by Don Fearing, a chef at the Mansion at Turtle Creek. The food and wine critic from GQ would be in attendance, and 25 percent of the evening’s proceeds would benefit the Texas Scottish Rite Charities.
I didn’t really understand what was supposed to happen at this function (or what I should wear to something at 6 p.m. on a Tuesday night), so I called the RSVP number. It was a hotline – no help at all.
After bellyaching about finding a date and an outfit and bragging to my friends that I was going to a “soiree” hosted by GQ and Ralph Lauren, the night finally arrived.
Mom helped me decide on a brown DKNY twin set, beige pants and beige shoes. My homeboy Michael Nelson agreed to come along. On the way, I stopped at Tom Thumb to squeeze $20 out of my bank account so I wouldn’t walk in totally bare. Ha, did I really think my measly $20 was going to do something?
At the door, I was stopped by a short, cute and young white guy, aptly dressed from head to toe in Ralph Lauren. He checked the guest list, and I was quickly ushered to the guest book by a burly woman with a headset on.
I couldn’t help but feel daring arriving alone, signing in and talking on my cell phone to Michael, who was about 10 minutes away. I was bombarded with smiles and greetings from the salespeople.
After grabbing a few gourmet cheese puffs, I picked up a glass of what I thought was water. It was Perrier. Sheesh, what is the fixation with that stuff? I hunted for waiters with different foods on their trays.
In pursuit of more gourmet snacks, I made two more phone calls (to keep from looking lonely) and smiled and spoke to the few other African-American guests in the store.
It didn’t take me long to figure out where I was – over my head, that’s where. In the housewares section, I stood in front of a $13,000 armoire. That’s more than what I paid for my car, including the interest.
I got invited to a shop event. They make a guest list, close the store to the public, admit the guests, serve them white zinfandel, Perrier and designer hors d’oeuvres and then they are supposed to shop to benefit charity.
As broke as I am right now, I need to accept donations myself! A good cause, but Scottish Rite wasn’t getting my last $20. What was I going to buy – some Ralph Lauren thread? I saw a washcloth for $18.
Michael finally arrived. I explained what kind of event this was, since I wasn’t sure if he knew. Apparently he’s pretty familiar with things like this because he works at Brooks Brothers. He could have told me! We decided to do another walk-through and get some more free food.
At the foyer, we were stopped for a photograph. I might be in Paper City. It was more fun browsing with a companion. We talked about his father’s fixation with Ralph Lauren, and he pointed out everything that was in his dad’s house. The tabletop collections stopped us the longest. From the barware to the stoneware, we stared in silent awe. Maybe I’ll be able to buy a glass one day.
A large martini glass was $65. Michael said he could buy a round of martinis for that much. I tried to remember if that Palladium martini glass from Tiffany’s costs more. I’ll need graduation presents eventually – only way something like that will make it into my house.
After finger foods and white zinfandel, we maneuvered through the tightly-packed store. This was obviously a big social event, one I wasn’t not quite ready for yet. As we left I decided to stick to Ashley Furniture and Crate & Barrel barware.
Maybe something like this at the Gap would have my full attention or not….
