Ask Nell
Q: Dear Nell,
I am here in Spain, but I have this friend at home who hooks up with girls all the time, but always happens to be obliterated with them, which causes him to [urinate] in bed. Hey, it’s not number two, but do you have any advice for him about his little problem?
– Concerned about the bed wetter
A: Dear Concerned,
I was not very familiar about this type of reaction, but after talking to a few guys, this seems to be a common thing for both boys and girls. I am by no means an “Oedipal Complex” therapist, but here’s what I think may be the problem. Obviously, cutting back on the binge sessions would cut down on your friend’s water can issues, but then again, wearing Depends also solves the issue. According to experts at www.drynight.com, children wet their beds because their body does not register messages from a full bladder fast enough. This may be caused by physical issues, heredity problems or hormones. Ding, ding, ding! While adult bed wetting is not common, hormones (or ones that misfire) could be a factor in your friend’s problem. Also, since the problem occurs with girls, he might have some sort of performance anxiety.
Dr. Frank Cerniglia of the Urologic Institute of New Orleans says, “There are many emotional and psychological aspects of bed-wetting.” Since this is probably hard for him, tell him that he can go see a doctor confidentially. Also tell him that bed-wetting isn’t the end of the world. Good luck and I hope your friend gets his Niagara Falls under tap.
Q: Dear Nell,
I have liked this one girl a lot for a long time. I never hit on her, but always wondered about her. Well, after three years, we finally started talking at a party and hooked up! I thought it would be great, but she was really wild and had some odd requests. She’s calling me now, but I’m kinda scared of her! I finally got what I wanted, so how do I deal with her?
– Scared to Death
A: Dear Scared,
I will assume for the sake of this article the “odd requests” are asking for a Coke instead of a “Diet Coke.” Further than that, I can see why you are scared. If this girl really freaked you out, then consider why and how it changed your feelings about her. It takes a while to get comfortable with people, and if you are already weirded out, you may always feel uncomfortable. Always consider that you may have caught her on the one night where she went nuts. The question now is, how much do you like her? If you like her a lot, still give her a chance and you might find out that your first impression was deceiving. I have a friend who once slept with a guy she barely new in some very odd circumstances. While both of the pair considered how such a brash meeting could be comfortable, they took a chance and ending up very well. Either way, do what you are comfortable with and make up your mind before she starts dressing you like a big baby and calling you “Pumpkin pie.”
Q: Dear Nell,
My boyfriend told me that he needed a “break” to clear his mind of stuff. He says that hes really stressed out. He told me that he would call me soon, not to worry and that everything would be fine. Well, it’s been a while and he hasn’t called at all. I am so confused and upset. Should I call him and talk to him or assume we’re over?
– Broken up over this
A: Dear Broken,
I have heard of very few breaks that weren’t breakups. If someone in a relationship really is stressed out and needs to focus on something else in their lives, they will ask to talk less to the person and take some time solving their problem. “Breaks” are by definitions gaps where something is discontinued, then started again, but they are very undefined in today’s relationships. If a guy does not want to break up with someone, they will make sure they know that. A lot of times (as I have learned well), people who have a hard time ending things try and make the other person break up with them first. If your boyfriend hasn’t called you in a really long time, call him and ask what is going on. If again he is vague in his answer, firmly tell him you need a decision. I personally don’t believe in “breaks” and would be very suspicious in your situation. Stop wondering, find out what is going on, and do what’s best for you. Hope everything works out.
