Feeling the wrath

Ok, where exactly do they draw the line between common, natural relationship problems and utter dysfunction? Some of the romantic relationships I have witnessed of late are completely baffling and bewildering.

Call me outlandish or off the wall but when your girlfriend tells you that you can no longer go to work, because of the threat of a female coworker I think there’s a slight problem. That doesn’t sound remotely normal to me. But what’s even worse is that the “victim” will agree to and abide by the sickening list of restraints. For that reason, the “victim” will now be referred to as the “idiot”.

Then there’s my personal favorite, the whole psycho-girl scenario in which the girlfriend proceeds to call one of her “idiot’s” girl friends to interrogate her. But it’s not like she just calls once, she calls like 15 times in a row with stuff she forgot to say and proceeds to waste a good half-hour or so of her time. I was floored to learn that this really happens. And let me tell you it does, in a mean, mean way. The only good thing about a situation like that is that it brings back the nostalgia of your good ‘ole high school days.

So the “idiot” is once again in a lose-lose situation, having gotten into a fight with psycho-girl and an ex-friend that has completely lost all respect for the “idiot” who has just been castrated live. How exactly does a relationship progress to that point?

The wrath of psycho-girl is ironically very intense. It leads the “idiot” into many out-of-character situations. For example, answering phone calls, not with hello, but with “what do you want” for fear that any civil phone conversation would surely imply he was cheating.

I have to scratch my head at the seemingly sane and logical people that actually stay in relationships like this.

I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science to figure out that there is a very good possibility a relationship like that might not work out and it’s not like it’s very fun in the meantime.

So someone please explain the personal benefit of jacked up relationships. What’s that you say? Damn good sex? Ah no my friend, you can have your cake and eat it too.

And for all you “idiots” out there, go to the health center. I’m sure with you’re deranged mental faculties they would counsel you for no charge. I’d check into it, you definitely need it.