I did it. I proved myself worthy of a gladiator at the annual Camp Gladiator Obstacle Course, held on Oct. 9 at Anderson Bonner Park.
It was an early Saturday morning, and instead of sleeping in like a normal person, I decided to lug myself out of bed at 7 a.m. With a second of indecision on whether to sport Mustang colors or more unidentifiable ones, I decided on a white top and black bottoms in the event that I failed miserably.
After picking up Jacky, a senior at SMU and my partner in crime for the course, we proceeded to the location with breakfast sandwiches and coffees in hand. We came upon quite a sight, with over 200 people already gathered for a five-kilometer run (that I fortunately did not sign up for), and with a quick whistle they were off into the encroaching forest. The winner eventually finished the five kilometers in 17 minutes, which runners will acknowledge is an incredible feat.
Our wave time was at 10:30 a.m., which gave us a chance to explore the grounds. There were various challenge stations, with a 100 lb tire-flipping, a pull-ups and push-ups contest, and sled pulling of 100 lb water bottles. In order to reserve our strength, we wisely decided to stay away from them until our turn in the obstacle course. Passing by the entrance, the monitor spotted us and asked, “Hey, you guys, you want to do it early?”
Of course I didn’t! I had not suitably prepared myself, and there were still so many stretches, mental devices and calisthenics that I could be doing to psyche myself up! But alas, Jacky replied, “Yeah, sure, let’s get this over with.” Of course, in order to preserve my male pride, I conceded and before I knew it, I was next to her at the starting line.
The first obstacle was clearly intimidating, with low-slung chains across fences, under which we were supposed to crawl. As I pictured myself doing the perfect crawl, the whistle blew. But I had not even had a chance to envision myself running through the other eight obstacles!
The remaining two minutes were a blur. After clearing the low crawl, there were hurdles over hay bales. The wave before us had capably knocked as many as they could over, creating not just a long jump, but a pool of wet dewy hay that we literally dragged ourselves through. The monkey crawl was next, which I performed quite well, and then a body-contorting climb through a cobweb of climbing ropes. With a quick crawl across a ladder, we were jumping over shoulder-height walls, and finally cleared an eight-foot wall. After another pyramid of hay, I had reached the final obstacle.
To say that last obstacle was a behemoth is a gross understatement. It was a colossus! An eighth wonder of the world that spanned thirty feet into the air, and was crisscrossed with cables that I was supposed to climb! With my arms aching and my legs burning, I started the seemingly eternal climb.
Push, Jovin, push, I told myself. I forced my legs through every rope, and maintained an arduous pace until I reached the top. I did it! Yes!
“Hey buddy, why don’t you go slide on down now and stop holding up the queue,” a voice behind me prodded. Quickly emerging from my moment of self-praise, I quickly slid down the slide and crossed the finish line.
My final timing was two minutes and seventeen seconds, and I placed ninth overall for the male division. Jacky had finished seventh for the women’s division. We both had set out with low expectations, to simply finish the course. What we got out of it was more than we could ask for, and we can only hope the next one in town would be just as challenging. But for the next event, please fix those hay stacks.
