Sexes differ on Super Bowl rituals

Leave it to me to find something fashionable about the Super Bowl. No, I’m not going to write about how cute the jerseys are (or the great assets that come with them), or how the helmets must smell really bad or even how just plain old gorgeous Tom Brady is. Because, even though this is all true, I’m just not that shallow or bored to write seven hundred-plus words on that- it wouldn’t even keep me entertained.

Instead, I’m going to focus on the hilarities of Super Bowl parties, the difference of watching the game with all guys or girls, and the all-anticipated commercials.

There are only a few who really don’t like the Super Bowl. These would be those whose favorite team lost in the semis and are still bitter, and people whose first language is not English- but there are exceptions for even those two groups.

Even if you don’t understand football or you hate watching it on TV or even if you would rather watch 20-straight hours of “The Odd Couple,” you are inclined and rather interested in catching a glimpse or two of the commercials. The Super Bowl commercials bring more revenue and inspiring 30-second blips about beer, Diet Pepsi, finding a new job or cars than any other televised event during the year.

Vendors spend millions of dollars ($2.4 million for 15-seconds, to be exact) just to have their commercial run during a time-out, pulling all tricks out of the hat on creativity and using the newest technology to create works of art.

Although it seems that nothing could have beat out last year’s notorious “wardrobe malfunction” (as the FCC is still claiming) of Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, those masterminds in the top offices have been prepping all year for the half-time show. And who gets to entertain millions of viewers for the second half of the game?

Paul McCartney, one of the lone surviving members of The Beatles. They should have just hired KISS — at least there wouldn’t have been glow sticks syndicating lighters during the last (and very slow) song. Although the songs were lame, I have to say the stage design that they miraculously set up and down in 20 minutes looked amazing but it almost put me to sleep.

Of course stereotypes run that unless you are an avid fan of either playing team, you will probably spend more time getting dressed to watch the game than the length of the game. Girls see Super Bowl parties as a social gathering, where pick-up lines consist of asking that cute guy why the referee called the last shot, how many downs a teams gets or even commenting on how much time you would spend on your touchdown dance. Guys, although still very much a social gathering, see Super Bowl Sunday as a day of purebred sports viewing, filled with greasy food and Natural Lite beer from the cooler by their feet. Cheering for their favorite team (the Patriots, of course) and high-fiving each other after each touchdown is natural.

Most girls show up at the bar or fraternity house with high heels, low-cut jeans and little tank tops, despite it being 40 degrees outside. [And by the way, because Punxsutawney Phil, the official groundhog based in Philadelphia saw his shadow last Tuesday, there will be plenty more of the cold weather headed our way, even to Texas despite people kicking and screaming their way through winter.]

The Super Bowl may have finished two days ago but we are already over it and talking about the latest episode of “The Bachelorette.” With lame commercials, a slow start but a tight finish, this year’s Super Bowl is in the “don’t” or “over” category mere hours after it finished.