Ed Board is bored. With all the excitement that happened during the first week, the rest of the semester is going to be hard pressed to be impressive.

We thought about writing an editorial about the broken glass in the commuter lot. The glass broken out of people’s passenger side windows during a spate of robberies on campus. However, that was cleaned up over the weekend.

We thought about writing something concerning the student who was “accosted” near the tennis courts. But that’s not really going to get anyone’s attention.

“Hey, pay attention when you’re walking at night!”

Who hasn’t heard that a million times?

No, instead we decided to write about the ten ounce bottles of water in the soda machines. Seriously!

Now, we’re being charged 75 cents for a can of soda. If you decide to go the healthy route and get a bottle of water, then you get screwed. It costs an even dollar for a 20-ounce bottle of water (that’ll probably change in the next year or so). So shouldn’t a ten ounce bottle of water cost half that?

No, of course not. Because multi-national corporations need to screw college students out of an extra 25 cents every time they buy a bottle of water. One of the biggest problems with America, and indeed with most of the world (because of America) is corporate greed.

You experience corporate greed every time you watch a television commercial, and now (because of greed) you can’t even go to the movie theatre without seeing ten minutes of commercials.

Companies have resorted to a new tactic lately, namely scaring people into using their product. Clorox’s newest commercial is a prime example. Some women are shown the amount of sweat and dead skin that the body supposedly produces in a day, which is incredibly disgusting, and then they are told that Clorox is the only product that can help. At least one student, after seeing this commercial, now takes three showers a day. Why do we put up with things like this? Why is marketing the product so damn important?

It’s not like we make anything in America anymore. All our products are made in China, but all our advertisers are American.

Ed Board predicts that in 20 years the only job in America will be advertising. Well, not the only job, the government will also institute a new wave of professional shoppers. People spending money for the sole purpose of keeping our deranged economy solvent.