Standing up for the brothers
As you can hopefully tell, I am a man. I am not a woman. Thus, I will not be writing this article tacitly purporting to think like a woman or to know what goes on in their minds. As all men know, that would be preposterous — no man will ever fully understand what goes on in the mind of a woman. At least this one won’t.
You may have read “Girl Talk: The Ex Rules” published in last week’s Daily Campus. I have but one main problem with it: it was written by a woman, yet covered almost exclusively the inner-workings of a man’s mind, specifically on the topic of dating a friend’s ex.
I appreciated the article’s anecdotes and humor; however, I am not going to stand idly by while my gender is irresponsibly — and inaccurately — accused of being on the wrong side of an “ethical gap” that “makes the Grand Canyon look like the Rio Grande.”
According to the article, men have no problem dating or hooking up with their best friend’s ex, whereas girls have much more respect for each other and for “sisterhood” than to cross that line.
Sure, some of us guys do hook up with our friend’s exes. But wouldn’t that invariably imply that the ex-girlfriend is hooking up with the friend? It’s a two-way street, and, believe it or not, some guys do mind “sharing.” (And what kind of girl lets herself be shared anyway?)
I live with three other guys. As roommates, we talk. As men, a lot of that talking is about women. We know the girl(s) each of us is talking to, is dating, is interested in, has dated, etc., and we respect this. As such, I don’t hook up with said females, unless, of course, by some small miracle, said female is the one I am talking to/dating/interested in. The same goes for my roommates, and the vast majority of my friends – some of us do practice sexual discretion. Men do have brains, and we do choose to use them. Sometimes.
As for the infamous “bros before hos” line, I do proudly claim that motto. It does not, however, mean that I am being hypocritical if I go out with a girl instead of my roommates. Truth be told, I’d walk right out of dinner with my roommates if a girl I was interested in wanted me to have dinner with her instead. (Hell, I’d even swim if I had to.) I’d expect my roommates to do the same.
“Bros before hos” means that we, as men, aren’t going to let something petty and foolish come between our friendships. Even if one of us does leap over that ethical gap and hook up with a friend’s ex, we’re not going to act as if the world is over and go find a new person to watch The O.C. with; we’re going to be big enough to forgive our “bro,” and allow him the opportunity to learn from his mistake. We’re going to be men about it.
