Ahh … fall is here.

We love it when all the signs of fall start to surround us andbegin their sort of prelude to the holidays and winter monthsahead.

Yes, fall in Dallas is …

Wait. Dallas?

Is there fall in Dallas?

If there is, it must be hiding somewhere downtown playing a verycruel game of hide and seek because so far this week it’sbeen at least 90 degrees, and the temperature doesn’t look tobe changing.

The beautiful crisp mornings of fall that make our eyes waterjust a little and have us wrapping our sweaters a little tighter… not in Dallas.

The rainbow of changing red, yellow and orange leaves paint aperfect portrait outside the window … not in Dallas.

The excitement of football games where we can see our breath andneed a cup of hot chocolate to warm our hands … not inDallas.

No, in Dallas we’re still wearing flip-flops andT-shirts.

Even if we’re teased into thinking we might need asweatshirt by an occasional 65-degree morning, we’re sooncorrected with a humid 80-degree afternoon.

This week, 90 degrees — higher than normal.

Fall is confusing.

Can we still wear white?

Do the rules still apply when Dallas’ average temperaturesin September and October are what other places “suffer”through during the summer?

Thunderstorms are our only refuge.

But even when we are graced with one, we’re forced tosludge around in water up to our ankles after waiting for hours inrush hour traffic that just doubled because of the rain.

Get ready. They’re supposed to be here this weekend.

Don’t get us wrong — we love our city.

We’d just really love to get it on one of those reality TVshows and make-over a few things.

We’d start with fall weather.

When we finally put our flip-flops away, it’ll be the daybefore the first frost and time to hang the tinsel.

Hey, whoever is in charge up there — God, Mother Nature,whoever’s in control of the thermostat — quit being sostingy and give us a little bit of cool.

Please?

We’re getting desperate here, and we really hate tobeg.