Judging from the artificial spider webs spread about TheDaily Campus office, it is Halloween time once again. Soon wewill be in the throes of All Hallow’s Eve, reveling in thejoys wrought by hand-carved pumpkins, little kids dressed as TVcharacters and candy corn that tastes nothing like candy or corn.But if we were to name one thing that defines Halloween the best,it would be the costumes.

Ed Board loves Halloween costumes! This is the one time of theyear when we are not only encouraged to pretend to be someonewe’re not, but it’s virtually expected of us.It’s exciting to see what people come up with to wear on thisone night of the year.

However, Ed Board is disappointed in the lack of creativitydisplayed in recent years. We have noticed that many women’scostumes are nothing more than variations of the same theme.Instead of coming up with something unique and creativelyexpressive, it seems that many people choose to instead dress up inwhatever is most revealing. French maids, naughty nurses, felinefatales, leggy cheerleaders … these are all permutations ofthe basic formula, which Ed Board affectionately refers to as”The Hooker Syndrome” because the basic “hookeroutfit” seems to be the template upon which many othercostumes are based [fishnets optional]. Halloween becomes a contestto see who can wear the least amount of clothing and still beconsidered in costume. Such costumes may be stimulating to thebaser instincts [yowza], but it is far from stimulating to theimagination.

So Ed Board is going to do its part and provide a list of morecreative costume ideas. If you feel that you are falling victim to”The Hooker Syndrome,” feel free to borrow any idea onthis list or from Page Two.

• Aileen Wuornos, as played by Charlize Theron in the movieMonster. Short on sexy, but high on serial killer”charm!” This is what Halloween was made for,ladies.

• Courtney Love. As an accessory, you could carry around asuitcase full of “long lost” Nirvana songs and slapanyone who tries to look inside.

• April O’Neil from the “Teenage Mutant NinjaTurtles.” Not only is it retro, but Ed Board hears yellow isin this year.

• A computer printer. If a drunken guy gets fresh at aHalloween party, shout “PC load letter!” and kick himin the tender parts.