When opportunity knocks at the door, one should answer. I mean, not always-that’s what peepholes are for. You look through it and you see who is knocking, then you decide whether or not to open the door.

I would say nine times out of ten you should go ahead and answer the door. Not all the time though. I mean if the Hamburgler or Tom Cruise knocked on your door, I would advise you not to open it. If you want your hamburgers stolen or your couch ruined, then by all means open the door.

So what exactly am I talking about? I’ll tell you. Sometimes it’s not the best idea to open opportunity’s door. Example:

Let’s journey back to the summer of 2006. I was accepted into UCLA’s film summer conservatory. I was so excited. I was getting to study my passion in a different light (in front of a camera and not on stage.) As we walked into class one day and took our seats I began to try my latest pick-up line on Karen.

“Hey Karen!”

“Oh, hey JP….”

“Is your dad in jail? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes…”

“My dad is serving six years in prison.”

“Oh my God, I am so sorry Karen. I had no idea…”

Suddenly the teacher walked in with a gigantic smile on his face. There was something different about him today. I think it was the tie. Normally, he would wear gym shorts and a Jimmy Buffett t-shirt. Usually unkempt, he came in clean-shaven. Had he gotten a haircut? I would have asked Karen, but I think she was busy filling out forms to file a restraining order against me.

“Settle down everyone. We have a very special treat for you guys today,” he said. “Instead of our normal lesson plan, we’re going to introduce you to our guest speaker: Sir Anthony Hopkins.”

WHAT?! He was here?! In the room?! My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn’t believe he was there. Was this an improv exercise? Were they gonna take a picture of our eager faces?

Nope. He just walked in the room. OMG!!!

So he speaks about his career. He speaks about playing Hannibal Lecter, about working on “Amistad”, and the awkward combination of fragments and inside jokes known as “Alexander.” Then it was announced that there would be a Q&A.

I eagerly raised my hand. After about four or five people, my teacher called on me.

“Hi, Sir Hopkins. Let me first just say that I am a huge fan. My question deals with character preparation. How do you dive deep into the roles like Hannibal Lecter and your role in “Hearts in Atlantis?” How do you truly discover the great stuff about those characters?”

“I study the text. Next question.”

I study the text? My 20 seconds with one of the greatest actors of all time, and his response was, “I study the text.” Everyone looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the face of the planet. People were asking questions like, “Oh my god you worked with Colin Farrell? Is he hotter in person?” And, ” What’s your favorite color?” I thought he would tell me that I was the best actor, and he realized this by only hearing me ask a question. I was wrong. My teacher treated me badly for the rest of the class. People stared at me and threw rocks at me. I just asked a simple question and soon after, I had become the laughing stock of UCLA. I probably won’t ever get cast in anything in L.A.

By the way, Anthony Hopkins thinks Collin Farrell IS hotter in person, and red is Anthony Hopkins’ favorite color. Just in case you were wondering.

John Paul Green is a freshman theater major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].