A relationship is like the cha-cha: it requires a lot of effort to get started, and difficulties will occur between the two seemingly conflicting styles of the partners. But when mastered, it exemplifies the hard work and connection between them as they glide across the dance floor as if they had been together for a lifetime.
As many new freshmen come to unfamiliar territory, many will flock trying to find friends as if they were at the mall on “Black Friday” after Thanksgiving. Many of those relationships between friends and lovers will spark and fizzle like fireworks, but most people want more than a quick fling. All of us want to find something stable to grab onto to make the college experience easier and much more enjoyable, but how do we do that? The best way to do that is to do the CHA-CHA, not literally of course, but if you follow these six CHA-CHA steps, then any and all relationships you are in will blossom into the experience of your lifetime.
Compromise: Have you ever wanted to do something (watch your favorite show, hang out with other friends, study) when your friend/lover wants to go do something else (party, go out on a date)? All relationships will run into this problem at least once, but most likely more than you can count. If the disputes turn into a one-sided fight, then you know there are some issues there. Consider the other person’s feelings as well as your own. Find the middle ground, or alternate when you or your friend/lover gets to do what they want to do.
Honesty: The absolute worst thing to ever do in a relationship is to hide the truth. Anything that can lead to jealousy can severely cripple the chances of preserving the relationship. If there is nothing to hide, then you should reveal the truth; but if there is something to hide, then do not leave your friend/lover hanging.
I personally hate being left hanging there, so just cut them free or stop your actions and correct your mistakes. This all being said, I don’t think you should tell the truth to every trivial thing, such as those pants making her butt look big. Some things are better left unsaid, so just use discretion.
Acceptance: Everyone is a unique, original person and should be treated as such. Do not try to conform people to fit what you believe is acceptable behavior. I am I, and you are you. Accept everyone as he/she is, not what you want them to be. You can help them change, like helping them lose the “freshman 15.” Just don’t make people do things that they will regret later in life.
Commitment: If you truly want a relationship to work forever, then you will have what you desire. Relationships take time to develop and all parties need to be committed into making them work. A relationship is only as good as its weak link.
Happiness: This seems pretty self-explanatory, but you don’t know how many people stay in unhappy relationships because of fear of being alone. There are a lot of people out there and the whole point of starting a relationship is to find joy in life. Don’t dwell on things that upset or make you feel unhappy. There are so many experiences out there so use the resources around you to have the time of your life with your friends/lover.
Appreciation: Nothing makes a friend/lover feel better than that you appreciate being with them, especially if you plan on being together forever. Give a gift, a thank you card, or a hug. Tell the ones you care about how you feel about him/her and who knows, you might be getting something back in return.
Bryan is a first-year student. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
