I’ve always been jealous of my older brother. He was the first child, the smarter child (he got my dad’s brains), and he always knew what he wanted to do in life. He’s got his life made, and I hope he realizes how lucky he is to be so smart.

I envy my brother because he has done so well in school. He is currently a senior at Vanderbilt University finishing up as an economics major, with a job offer already under his belt after he graduates. He’s had some great internships too, including one with Goldman Saks last summer. In high school, he was salutatorian of his graduating class, an active member in National Honor Society, and always excelled above me in academics. While I excelled in tennis and piano, he always had the smarts. I graduated with an impressive GPA, no doubt, but his was just even more impressive. And while tennis and piano are worthwhile, unfortunately, the grades are what get you far in life. The grades are what get you into an exceptional college, the grades are what allow you to major in something challenging and difficult, the grades are what get you the good internships with big firms, and, ultimately, the grades are what get you to that job that pays a salary of more than $100,000 a year plus a bonus.

While I’m not saying SMU doesn’t have students that graduate with high honors and exceptional job opportunities, my brother has just always had it better. And while I’m trying to get to where I want to go in life, he’s already there. He’s already been through the tunnel and gotten to the other side. I, on the other hand, am still in that tunnel with the other side being nowhere in sight. I don’t have a job, I don’t have an internship, and I don’t know what’s to come in my future. While I have no doubt Cox School of Business will prepare me for a great job, anything can happen in the next two years and I am jealous of my brother for being in his position, already knowing what he will be doing 6 months after he graduates.

I envy my brother for not having to put up with my mom over the years too. My mom and I never got along, exclusively because of my grades. While I was a good student, she saw how well my brother did in school and she could never understand why I couldn’t do as well as he did.

She forbade me from watching television in high school and middle school in the hopes that I might get the grades my brother had. Lucky for him, he was the kind of student who could party with his friends all the time and also make straight A’s. I always hated that about him. While I spent hours upon hours studying in the library for one test, he could study an hour maximum and still come out with an A.

He had and still has the social life, the love life, the grades, the resume, the job, the carefree and non-stressful life that I dream of to this day. He’s got it made, and I’ve had to live up to that ever since I could walk. Unfortunately, I will never be as good as my brother, and I’ve come to terms with that. My mother, however, is still pushing me to be more like him. You’d think that after I get to college she would stop pushing me. But no, she hasn’t stopped, and I don’t think she ever will. I love my brother with all my heart, but I am envious of his life. I guess that’s what keeps me working as hard as I do, hoping that one day I can make my parents as proud as he has.

Allison Cooley is a junior accounting major. She can be reached for comment at acooley @smu.edu.