The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

SMU professor Susanne Scholz in the West Bank in 2018.
SMU professor to return to campus after being trapped in Gaza for 12 years
Sara Hummadi, Video Editor • May 18, 2024
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College Dating 101: Feelin’ that friend, cocky guys and open relationships

Q: Dear Stacy,

I’ve been hanging out with my guy friend a lot lately, and I’m beginning to have feelings for him. How do I let him know that I’m interested without seeming too forward and risking the end of our friendship?

— Ashley

A: Dear Ashley,

Physical contact may work for some guys, while plunging into any type of touching may be spatial overload for others. Before you make any move, consider his body language. Is he picking his nose in front of you or letting you know he ate a good dinner by burping? If so, he may just want to be compadres.

There are many factors such as body language, length of friendship and what he’s calling you — his homegirl or his buddy — that determine what type of relationship you guys have. The solution always remains the same: Be yourself and listen to your heart. If your heart says invite him over and confess that you think he’s a sexy beast, do that. If your heart is telling you to pounce on him like a rabid tiger, do that. Set your own parameters. Meet him at Starbucks or ask him out to an alcohol-free dinner (to prevent saying something monstrous if you get a bit tipsy). As a precautionary measure, guys prefer face-to-face verbal communication opposed to an ambush. Remember, guys are flattered by girls who make the first move, so speak up and tell them what you feel. It takes the pressure off of them. Chances are that he’s interested in you, too. It’s not uncommon for longtime friends to eventually become attracted to each other.

In terms of risking your friendship, if your relationship is compromised because you chose to be honest with him, than your friendship wasn’t strong enough to begin with. Of course things are going to be awkward at first, but it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.

Q: Dear Stacy,

Why is it that girls prefer cocky guys over funny ones? How do you get girls to notice us funny guys as potential boyfriends as opposed to just friends?

— John

A: Dear John,

In an artificial environment, such as college, some girls tend to be overwhelmed by muscles, hot bums, arrogance (to an extent) and what seems like confidence. They’re temporarily perplexed by the unknown and sense of power these men emit. A friend of mine described these types of guys as “mysterious.” Ironically, there is no underlying mystery at all. They are exactly as they appear to be: An open and shut book.

Girls will progressively stop dating hulks and move onto ones that are able to make them laugh. Humor is a great quality to have, so don’t start being a punk because you see other punks with hot girls. Look around, I bet you’ll notice there are more hot girls with what some guys refer to as “d-bags” than you think. That’s because these guys have a true sense of self and confidence. For women, confidence is incredibly sexy and can overshadow physicality.

While you are waiting for girls to outgrow the cocky guy phase, keep in mind that humor, like arrogance, has limits too. If you’re insecure and find yourself constantly making a joke out of everything, than a girl will think you’re a joke. Have confidence in yourself and girls will notice that attractive quality about you as well. And bear in mind that not everything is funny.

Q: Dear Stacy,

My girlfriend lives in Memphis, and I live in Dallas. We’re thinking about trying an open relationship. Is an open relationship even a relationship at all?

—Chris

A: Dear Chris,

To be blunt, it either works or it doesn’t. Some people believe that open relationships are a complete cop-out from commitment. Others find it is the best way to attempt to lock down a promising future relationship. No one ever wants to hear, “Look dude, you’re great, I love you and want to spend my life with you, however, I need to sow my roots a bit before I can truly be with you.”

Understand that you have a long and arduous road ahead of you. Jealousy is unavoidable. And don’t start shacking up with someone random just because he/she might be doing it too. Be realistic about the possibilities. What you two share intimately could quite possibly be shared with another person. If it’s meant to be, you two will inevitably end up being together. For now though, your first priority should be getting to know the person you hope to one day be so that you can be the best partner for your significant other.

If you wind up separated. It’s college. Most people meet their husbands and wives later on in life at work, through friends, or out at social gatherings. So don’t view this as a failure either.

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