Have you ever heard of heterosexism? Do you know what it means? Chances are, you heard it in a diversity class and haven’t approached the concept since. Heterosexism is defined as a prejudiced attitude or discriminatory practices against homosexuals by heterosexuals.
If you think it doesn’t exist, think again. It happens everyday and is all around you. So, if I have to be reminded that the world is ‘straight’ then all of you heterosexuals should be too.
First let’s examine what happens when straight people get curious about their gay acquaintances. Below are some common questions that gay (I’m using this as a short way of saying lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender-LGBT) people are asked.
When did you first realize/decide you were gay?
What do you think made you gay?
Do you think you’re gay because of some traumatic childhood experience?
How do you reconcile being gay and being Christian? It clearly states that it’s wrong.
The questions above are highly offensive, yet I have been asked a form of every single one numerous times.
Would you ever ask a straight person a version of these questions? How would a heterosexual respond to the following?
What do you think made you straight?
Most straight people would laugh and be completely confused. Why? Because society says being straight is ‘normal’ and gay isn’t. No one should have to have an ‘excuse’ for their sexuality. Another offensive and heterosexist question I’ve received is:
Why do gay people get their own channel (LOGO)? Black people getting their own channel. I think it’s reverse discrimination.
First of all, it’s not reverse discrimination. African Americans and LGBT members need to have their ‘own channel’ for a number of reasons. The most obvious being that the vast majority of television revolves around white heterosexual families. Luckily, T.V. is catching up with the times and representation is much more fair than it used to be. How many famous openly gay actors/news anchors can you name off the top of your head? How many shows that have a gay couple as the main characters?
Another subtle heterosexist practice is the assumption that everyone you meet will be straight. When you meet someone new (that doesn’t give you any ‘signs’), you probably just assume that they’re straight. There are a lot more of us out there than you think and we don’t all fit the stereotype the media has created. Also, remember that gay people are not just gay; they have plenty of other qualities. Don’t refer to gay people as being ‘gay,’ because I know you don’t refer to your straight friends as ‘straight.’
Gender norms are another aspect of heterosexism that need to be broken down. When a flamboyant man acts the way he does, he’s just being himself. Don’t refer to him as ‘effeminate.’ That is, imply that he acts like a girl when in reality, he’s just acting like himself. What does that mean anyway? Which girl? Paris Hilton, Rosie O’Donnell, Madonna, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres or Pink? That’s an assumption that all girls act the same. They don’t, and neither do men. The most interesting people in the world don’t fit gender stereotypes so why judge them for not fitting into your mental box?
I was watching TV with one of my gay friends and Dancing with the Stars came on. I don’t watch the show, but I did get a five-minute glimpse of it. My friend quickly noted that Lance Bass (the openly gay ex-NSYNC member) was dancing with a girl. Why? He’s gay and prime-time television is too afraid to pair him with a male dancer. It’s not a lack of gay male dancers, believe you me.
The reason is we live in a heterosexist society that keeps people from expressing who they are. They create a structurally heterosexual environment that makes it hard for anyone who has a dissenting voice to be heard. The change is happening, but it’s up to you to realize it and stop taking part in it.
I would like to thank Karen Click, from the Women’s Center, for inspiring this article and bringing many important aspects of this issue to my knowledge. The Women’s Center is on the third floor of Hughes-Trigg next to Student Media Co. Please stop by to learn about the wonderful services they provide to SMU.
Brent Paxton is a junior political science and international relations double major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
