This is the kind of sleazy display of power you can drag your girlfriend to and not even have to buy her a thing for that capitalist crock of garbage we call Valentine’s Day.

This opera was written when romance still had class.

The sublime union of “Cosi Fan Tutte,” the opera held by Meadows School of the Arts is showing this weekend only.

Not even Sigmund Freud understood women. This was the case 300 years ago, as Mozart proudly displays.

The story unfolds as you might expect it would. Two men, ardently faithful to their women, take a bet out of spite to prove a jaded old man wrong. However, through his evil ways and sly cunning, old Alfonso works magic through the housemaid to bring the women to the edge of sanity.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, anyone who has a significant other of the opposite or same sex can relate to some part of Cosi. The story revolves, as they usually do, around two women who can’t seem to make up their minds. On one hand, they have their bold fiancés in uniform, off to war against a foreign foe. At home, they have two dangerously strange guests, actually their husbands in disguise, testing them at the will of a conniving, elder gentleman for a wager of sizeable wealth.

That doesn’t happen to everyone, but then again, its also pretty rare to find a guy who will take a bet on testing the emotions of his betrothed.

If that’s not enough, you get a whole gaggle of busty broads and men in uniform, capering around, yelling their heads off to some damn fine music.

But it’s not yelling, it’s opera. The resonating baritones of the men drill your gut and sopranos strike like a slap in the face. When all five characters of the main cast sing in unison, the effect is hypnotic. Throw in the explosion of color and costume, and the whole thing swirls into a dream-like trance inducing bliss worthy of an Oscar if someone would just go out and buy a damned camcorder.

Seriously, think Prince at the Super Bowl halftime show with a lower budget and more girls. I’m not kidding.

Most people around here are idiots, and would much rather spend their early Friday nights pre-partying before heading off to freshmen crowded Homebar. That’s why Meadows will bear its talented bust not once, but three times. Both Friday and Saturday shows go on at 8 p.m., while the Sunday “I’ve got a hangover and need a dark place to relax” matinee begins at noon.