The other night I decided to step slightly out of my comfort zone and rent a scary movie. Normally I don’t really like scary movies. In fact, my previous comfort limit was Mel Gibson’s movie, “Signs.” But for some reason, I wanted to see the movie “Disturbia.” I survived it and enjoyed it for the most part, but I don’t necessarily recommend the movie. Nonetheless, one of the lines in the movie really struck a cord with me. As Kale (Shia Labeouf) recounts to his neighbor what he has noticed about her through his spying, he exclaims that whenever she leaves her room, she pauses and looks back at herself in the mirror, not in admiration of herself, but rather to ask, “Who am I really?” I believe the writer nailed the thoughts and challenges of young adults with that one question: “Who am I really?”
Today we spend so much time and effort creating this image of ourselves. We put on an act in order to be viewed in a certain way. For some reason, we feel we need to look like we have it all together, that we have life figured out and everything is going well. Our face has now become more of a mask of the hurt we feel but do not want to show. It’s a mask of the pain we are going through, the confusion we are experiencing, the burdens of expectations or not dealing with our grief. The list can go on and on about things we are feeling but are not showing. We do not always want other people to know. Parents who fight all the time, struggles with alcohol, the loss or sickness of a dear family member or friend, pressure to make the grades or to make a lot of money, struggles with pornography, the hurt of a broken relationship – all of these are very real struggles in our everyday lives that we are, all too often, trying to hide.
Metaphorically, we put everything we are hiding in life under a tarp and pretend it’s not there. We try so hard to not show weakness and hurt that we look in the mirror and wonder, “Who am I really?” Often times, due to the facade we construct, we don’t know who we really are. I encourage you to find out. What is under your tarp? What are you hiding? You may be hiding things under that tarp because there are things you do not want others to see, or maybe because you don’t want to have to deal with those things and you would rather forget them.
This is not an easy process. It is very hard to bring so much hurt back into the light. It will make you vulnerable, but it will make you stronger in the long run. I encourage you to share with a trusted friend or mentor. There are probably a lot of burdens and hurt that will be resurfaced- heavy burdens which seem impossible to carry.
The good news is you do not have to carry them. Jesus Christ came to take our burdens from us. For he says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” He asks us to come to him with our struggles and hurts. Once again, we do not have to carry the hurt. Later, the apostle Paul reiterates life’s struggles, and Jesus’ relation to them in saying, “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” Now I know many of you do not like to be preached to, and once again, it is not the purpose of my writing to preach. Rather, my purpose is to tell you that I have found truth and healing in these words, and I have seen and heard of countless other testimonies of young adults who have been brought out of hurt and into healing through faith and trust in Jesus. Regardless of your thoughts on these things, I really do encourage you to ask yourself that striking question next time you look in the mirror: “Who am I really?”
ABOUT THE WRITER:
Stephen Reiff is a sophomore business and political science double major. He can be reached at [email protected].
