Ask Nell

Q: Dear Nell,

There was a comment made in the advice thing [on Wednesday]about taking home a girl who just wants to “sit andtalk.” This has happened to me before and my question is: howdo you make it clear to a girl that you [want] action, notconversation?

-Not an action hero

A: Dear Action Hero,

There’s a song by a band called Group X that goes,”I don’t want relationship, I just want bang, bang,bang!” Rarely do a guy and girl meet while out, lock eyes andknow for sure what will happen back home — or in some cases,in the parking lot behind the Green Elephant.

To prevent some very awkward and/or unsatisfying situations (onthe point of the guy and the girl), make your intentions clear.

By clear, I mean invited, unmistakable body language and averbal contract. Think of two people deciding what to do at 2 a.m.like a deal on eBay: Be very specific about what you want, or youmay end up with a bag of used paper clips instead of thatlife-sized blow-up doll you were looking for.

I understand that as clear as you make yourself, communicationlines can be crossed.

Guys are scared of getting rejected, so they make a half-assedpick-up attempt, and girls will think the guy they’re with isjust a nice guy who wants to talk. Simply put, tell whoyou’re with that you want “bang, bang, bang” andnot “sit and talk.”

Brutal honesty is a surefire way or getting an honest response.Your level of honesty depends on how concerned you are with savingface and sometimes, how many ‘3 Wisemen’ shotsyou’ve consumed. As a last resort, there are to-the-pointpick up lines such as:

“Do you have any Greek in you? … Wantsome?”

I don’t personally recommend this, but if you’re aguy who likes results, you will certainly get some: a late-nightdate, a slap in the face or an appointment for testicular removalsurgery. But hey, just what price would you pay for eternalglory?

Q: Dear Nell,

I just started school here and decided to stay together with myhigh school boyfriend. He goes to school halfway across thecountry, and even though I care about him a lot, I’m startingto get really frustrated. Is this a hopeless cause?

-Lost Distance Blues

A: Dear LDB,

My advice to first-year students has always been to keep youroptions open. Being able to meet people in a new environment andset your roots in college is something very unique to being afreshman. If you feel your relationship is holding you back,consider downsizing to “friends” and enjoying yourstart here at SMU.

However, I do understand that sometimes a long distancerelationship can help you grow as a person and actually give youthe chance to enjoy yourself without the confines of a day-to-daymate. I’ve learned that it’s all about following yourinstincts and what makes you happy.

Some long distance relationships work and some don’t. Ifit doesn’t work, don’t ever think you wasted your time.You will come out having learned a lot about who you are and justhow far you’ll go to make something you care about work. Andthat makes you a stronger person.

Ask yourself this: Is your relationship affecting you as aperson (making you sad all the time, go broke from phone bills, orisolating you from making your place in college)? If not, by allmeans pursue your long distance love, and remember, the best thingsin life come with hard work.

If you’re finding more negative than positive aspects, atleast you’ll be able to meet new people and enjoy yourself inan ex-free environment.

I can’t tell you what to do, but I know this. Follow yourheart: it never leads you astray.