If during the evening hours you find yourself strolling around campus, you might be so accustomed to hopping over puddles scattered about the sidewalk that you scarcely notice them at all.
These puddles and small streams that emerge on campus have become such a presence that one might think Dallas experiences a healthy amount of rain, akin to a tropical rainforest. But upon investigation, the average monthly rainfall falls below three inches, far below what is standard for a tropical environment.
Another more likely explanation of the abundance of ground water involves the ever-flowing sprinklers that perforate the campus grounds. Not only are the sprinklers of SMU charged with the task of keeping the grass well submersed, but also with turning the sidewalks and roads into an interesting mix of wetlands that remind me fondly of the swamplands of Louisiana, my homeland.
A student observing the sprinklers might notice that a fair portion of the sweeping motions seem to directly cover both the sidewalks and roads of campus. A sophomore student, Adrienne Cooksley notes that “The cement is looking really healthy these days.”
However there might be another explanation keeping our dear cement healthy and watered, an explanation that proves both controversial and innovative. One night this fall semester, as torrential rain poured from the heavens, several students including myself remarked on the fact that the sprinklers were concurrently attempting to flood the grounds of SMU.
When I saw both the heavy rain and the sprinklers, it first occurred to me that this was a tremendous waste of water and resources for the campus, but then I began to realize the deeper motive behind sprinklers.
As a school that is fond of fountains, SMU seems to have placed a fountain around most areas that experience high traffic.
A sophomore student, Hayley Wagner, suggests that SMU needs even more fountains, “one for each building, I want to feel like I’m at the Bellagio while on campus.”
But reflecting on both SMU’s desire to have large bodies of water about the campus and the ever flowing irrigation system one cannot help but wonder if these things are related.
Not only do I think that the fountains and sprinklers of SMU are related, but I believe they are intertwined agendas of the school and I assert that the sprinklers are for the purpose of turning the entirety of the SMU campus into one large fountain.
The university is really an intermediate step on the way to the full blossoming of the school as a fountain.
Why the need for intermediate steps? Why doesn’t SMU just begin construction on the great fountain, since construction is one of the most beloved activities of the university?
By taking the price of a “Large Contemporary Tier Indoor/Outdoor Fountain,” which is about $15,000, and using its dimensions, 48 x 48 inches, to extrapolate upon the cost for a fountain the size of the entire campus, 10018800 ft² (trust me on these calculations, I’m an engineer. This extrapolation depends on a linear increase of price by size of all fountains neglecting all materials used to build said fountain), the price would be very roughly $2,475,000 for the fountain alone, neglecting the cost of demolishing the entire campus along with necessary fountain décor.
Therefore, instead of doing this outright, SMU is saving money using the sprinkler system to slowly convert the campus into this large fountain over time. Some students, like Alexandra Therese said, “There are so many more important things SMU could be doing with the money that would actually benefit students. I’d like to see that money going to student programs and scholarships instead.”
But said students lack the vision of transitioning the university into a fountain as opposed to remaining an academically driven environment. Assuming that by the time it will take to submerge the entire campus underwater, most current students will have obtained degrees in their respective fields, it is an issue that need not concern us.
Scarlet Gray is a sophomore majoring in biomedical engineering with a premedical specialization. She can be reached for comment at [email protected]
