Ask Nell
Welcome back to SMU and have no fear, “Ask Nell” is back! After a great year run I’ve decided to put a little twist on the column. As a little intro, my name is Nell and I am a junior pre-law major. About a year ago I was told that it was time for an advice column. Sure, straight advice is great, but what do all college kids have on their minds all the time? Partying, sex, dating (on rare occasions), and more partying. Why not write what people want to read? Thus came Ask Nell and I’m proud to keep it going for another semester.
Since I am in Spain this semester, I’ve decided to keep on writing with the help of all of you at home (of course) and the twenty or so of us SMU in Spain kids.
To all of the new first-years, welcome to college. I would just like to let everyone know that they can write any sort of sex and dating concerns to me at [email protected]. For the newcomers, no question is too weird, sassy, or taboo. Trust us here in Spain: Sangria makes for great question answering and between the twenty of us I’m sure help is not too far away. As always, all questions are kept anonymous.
I do have some summer questions to get started off with, so here they go. Thanks for everyone’s support and keep the questions coming!
Q: Dear Nell,
I started dating this girl that I really liked this summer. Everything was great at first, but it seems more and more now that she wants me to do all the stuff for her I did when we first started dating! I’m broke, my friends think I’m dead, and I have no clue what to do. Help!
– Hooked on the Ol’ Ball and Chain
A: Dear Hooked,
Every girl wants romance, but there are rightful limits that should not be crossed. You don’t specify exactly what kind of stuff she wants you to do. If it’s taking her out, getting her presents, then she may have to realize that the honeymoon phase is great while it lasts but has to end. If she’s asking you to play a game called “Lambs” with her wherein she lowers buckets of lotion to you in a hole in the basement, consider calling the local Highland Park Looney Bin and have them come get her. She might even get a free Bubba’s breakfast. Either way there’s a good lesson here. Showing someone you care doesn’t need to involve money or exorbitant amounts of time. If she can’t be satisfied with you being you, maybe you should reconsider your relationship. If someone you’re dating starts to cramp your lifestyle, make you broke and keep you from your friends, you’ve just gotta decide how happy you really are. If it’s a physical attraction holding you to “The Ol’ Ball and Chain”, trust me, there is greater lovin” out there.
Q: Dear Nell,
I have this random situation and figured I might as well just see if I can get some advice. I [engaged in 18 and older activities] with a guy a few weeks ago at a party. Casual, no problems. Well, my first day of summer school (not at SMU) he struts into class and basically is annoying the hell out of me. He thinks that because of one night, he is my new best friend. I don’t want to be mean or sound like a ‘ho’, but one night was plenty for me. Can I just be flat-out rude and tell him to [get lost]?
– Highly annoyed
A: Dear Annoyed,
You have the right to be annoyed. You have a classic case of “The one night stand that would never end”. I’m sure a lot of people have been through this and could offer a variety of different pieces of advice. One friend of mine suffered through her One Night Wonder’s torture and found out he was an OK guy. They stayed friends, but a fair warning: stalkers have to start somewhere. He may just take your nice attitude as a green light for obsession. To get rid of him completely, take the approach of another good friend of mine. She went into a class just to bump right into a guy with whom she’d had a horrible forgettable few hours with. She didn’t really want to see him so she just ignored him, sat purposely further away, and acted really uninterested. Unless this guy is dumber than a sea urchin, he will get your point. It’s like when inebriated people talk to inanimate objects: They eventually give up after an hour of no response. As a last resort, just start talking about your “new hot, buff boyfriend”. He should get the hint.
