It begins with the uncomfortable eye contact.  You are in your car at a stoplight, or perhaps you are walking into a store.  All attempts to avoid are futile—you know what is coming.  

Another human being looks you in the eye and asks if you have a dollar to spare.  You freeze—should you say “yes” or “no, thank you?”  Do you even have any change?  You don’t usually carry cash.  Is it safe to take out your wallet?

Even more difficult are the ugly questions you ask yourself:  Why should I be the one to give this person change?  What do I owe him or her?  Where are they going to spend this money—on drugs or booze?  What about homeless shelters, soup kitchens, welfare or social security?  Shouldn’t someone else be responsible for this?

Maybe you say “yes” and hand over a few coins.  Or maybe you politely apologize and continue on your way.  Either way, it is, for most of us, an awkward situation.  But does it have to be?

Navigating city streets with friends, I have come across this scenario countless times.  Yet, no matter whom I am with, never once have I seen someone handle such a situation with ease.  We all act nervous, frightened and often overly apologetic.  We avoid looking directly at the person to soften the blow.  Are we perhaps ashamed of our inability or unwillingness to give?  

The paradox arises when we look at charity, community service and philanthropy.

This campus is alive with students who donate their time and talents to help those in need.  We give to charity organizations without hesitation.  We raise thousands upon thousands for funds and foundations which provide opportunities and support to the poor.  But to give to them directly presents a problem.  Is it a lack of trust between the “haves” and “have-nots?”  Why are we so attached to the idea of letting someone else, someone “responsible,” take care of our charity dollars?

You likely won’t miss that dollar an hour later, no matter how it is spent.  Because even when you write a check to charity, the money is diluted, siphoned off to take care of administrative costs and other inevitabilities.  Only some of your money reaches its intended recipients, often to the exclusion of some who are in desperate need.  

The reality is that those who give directly to a beggar on the street and those who give to a charity are faced with the exact same uncertainties.  In both cases, there is no real way to determine how your money is spent.  In the end, it is a matter of trust.

So should we trust the poor, trust the providers, or trust our instincts? We only have so much to give.  

During the past week I was approached three times for spare change.  Not once did I give, perhaps out of fear or perhaps out of avarice.  Honestly, I am not quite sure why.  I am certain, however, that next time, whether I choose to give or to withhold, it will be with confidence and compassion rather than a half-attempted, evasive and nervous smile.

Rebecca Quinn is a senior art history, Spanish and French triple major. She can be reached for comment at [email protected].