Ode to the lazy
I’d just like to take a moment of our time to sit back, relax, and thank the lazy. God bless. I’m terrifically lazy myself, so this is partially dedicated to yours truly.
You know that test you have in two days? Don’t you worry none, you can study tomorrow. You know that test you have tomorrow? Don’t you worry none, you can study tomorrow morning. You know that test you have this afternoon…
It’s a great thing, being lazy, and is there a better place in all the world to be lazy than in the good old US of A? Hungry? Heck, there are enough delivery places in Dallas to cater to any craving. I’ve recently got flyers for pizza and Chinese, naturally, but did you know that there is now a place that delivers stake, faitas and ribs? Oh my!
You know that pile of laundry that has been growing in the corner of your room like a May flower? Save yourself some time (not to mention the horrors of finding enough quarters) and take you dirties to a wash-and-shrink place. It’s 69 cents a pound. Ten pounds is a lot of clothes. Seven bucks is cup of coffee, these days.
Though I’ve mentioned this same line before, I’ll say it again (whom am I kidding? I know the SMU student body is far to lazy to read my column, let alone remember lines from old ones!): Being lazy and being bored are the exact same thing, only being lazy is fun.
An example, then. Remember when you were a kid sitting around the house with nothing to do, not allowed to watch TV by a concerned mother? Remember, “I’m booooored!” Yeah, that’s the exact same thing as sitting around now, delicately putting off that chapter you need to read or that paper you need to write or whatever mundane task you’ve been asked to do. Now teachers, please don’t take this as an insult. Heck, I like class and even enjoy learning. I’m just lazy. Though it’s quite ironical, I find myself reading an unrelated book or a Sports Illustrated when the same sort of effort would complete that chapter in my textbook. Sloth is fun. Such is life.
But there is a time when this glorious laziness must come to an end. Sadly, that time is upon us like crumbs from the chips we eat while watching the tube. That time is now.
Yep, right around the corner looms a deadly giant. This monster does not yield to people like us, does not care that we like to sit around all day, does not mind that we are lazy. Waiting patiently in early May is an ogre named “Finals.”
Another ghoulish friend of the Final is the Term Paper. Is there anything easier that seeing that far away date when your term paper is to be submitted, and simply saying, I’ll worry about it later? The only problem with later, I think, is that later is more inevitable than death or taxes. Later becomes soon. Soon becomes a few days. A few days becomes a four cups of coffee, a classical music CD and a dedicated, night-long sprint to get that paper in. I’m yawning just thinking about it.
Some people are able to pull this off like it the plastic top to delivery food container. All nonchalant and offhand, they say, “Yea, I started and finished last night.” But for the rest of us it may be that time when it’s a good idea to start studying for that final, start researching that topic. I hate being the bearer of bad news, but I’d just like to reiterate that suspicion that your loafing is about to cause a drop in that silly little number, the GPA.
