Get on the bus
Have you ever had the pleasure of taking the Mustang Express? Odds are the answer is no, and you might be missing the time of your life. Due to mechanical problems (broken car), I have had the honor of taking the “Express” to class each day, and I have learned that there are things you should and should not do while on the bus.
DO avoid eye contact with people on the bus. This may seem like a prison-bus like attitude, but it’s for the best. It’s painfully obvious that 90 percent of the people on the bus are angry that they have to take a bus to school. It is always good to just look out the window or pretend to read a book.
DON’T try to spark up a conversation with the bus driver. This may be the most important rule to remember. Here is an example of what happened when I was naïve and thought I would be friendly and say:
Me: “Hey, how are you today?”
Bus Driver: “Good…….You know I am a good mother…..but it’s just time that they got a job…..I really love ’em….I do…..You’ll know what I’m talking about……you’ll see soon.”
Me: *silence*
Bus Driver: “You will…..I know you don’t believe me……you will wind up just like your parents…..when you have kids, you will do everything you hated…….but I love ’em….I really do.”
Me: *writing this down, thinking it would be funny to put in an article*
DO try and bring some sort of painkillers on the bus. The only thing I can compare to the ride from Mockingbird Station to SMU would be the time I fell smack into a tree while skiing. It wasn’t comfortable, and neither is the bus ride.
DON’T acknowledge the random loud guy at the bus stop. If someone at the bus stop starts talking to you, whether you’re listening or not, remember, let him on the bus first. I don’t care what you have to do – tie your shoes, grab a paper, pretend to look through your bag or do the “where are my keys” motion.
If you make the grave error of getting on before him, 10 out of 10 times he will sit down next to you and continue the same conversation. It’s amazing. A few days ago someone actually came up to me at the bus stop and said this: “Man, this bus better be on time. If I am late again, I’m *expletive*, and I hope my cousin doesn’t eat all my damn food.”
DO remember that this is a free service and the drivers do a very good job arriving and leaving on time. Granted, there have been a few days where the bus never showed and I had to hoof it to school, but those days were few and far between.
DON’T sit next to someone if there are open seats all over the bus. It’s a general rule that I thought everybody knew, but obviously some people don’t. People always seem to be intent on crowding your space. Those people suck. Also, remember the universal rule that if you finish reading the paper on the bus, you are obligated to leave that paper on the bus for others to read.
Speaking of the newspaper, here is a good way to pass time. Grab a Daily Campus and read the “Ask Nell” column. After reading each question, look around on the bus and ask yourself if anyone you see might have submitted the question. “Dear Nell, my boyfriend has asked me about ‘unconventional sex;’ how do I respond?” Hmmmm. Could it be the bus driver? Maybe the lady in the back who always wears the same clothes? Maybe it’s the the woman who is always eating soup from La Madeleine. So many choices.
DO at least take the bus to school once while you’re here. Mass transit is not a bad thing – everybody in Dallas should support it – and it will give you a chance to see how a lot of the world outside of SMU gets to school or work.
